It was hard to be shunned by my mother-in-law (MIL), but I knew something had to give when she gave priority to my husband’s ex! At a party I threw for my mother-in-law, I was made fun of, ignored, and embarrassed. I decided I could stand the harassment no more! See the ultimatum I sent to my spouse!
Hello everyone, this is Barbara! I want to tell you this fascinating anecdote! First, a little backstory. I have had two amazing years of happy marriage to my spouse, Bill.
The fact that he is white and I am black has led to some friction between us. Elaine, my mother-in-law (MIL), obviously disapproves of or finds objectionable to this.
She has excluded me from family pictures because she doesn’t like me, claiming that I’m not really related to them. Fortunately, Bill has always stood by me and shielded me from these kinds of circumstances.
I truly did try to ignore the tension between us. Even when she smiled warmly with her family, there was a frost in her eyes that could make the room feel chilly. I wanted to close that gap even though it was her 60th birthday last weekend.
Honestly, it was more for my spouse’s benefit.
Because I know Bill loves his mother and I love him too, I wanted to do something special for him. I went all out, throwing a sumptuous surprise party. spending no money on the elaborate cake, the celebration, or the décor.
I knew she had been coveting the gorgeous but pricey Italian leather purse for months, so it was the focus of my efforts!
In addition to doing everything to please my husband, I secretly thought—perhaps naively—that this large-scale act might soften her icy attitude toward me. But my, was I mistaken!
There was a clinking of glasses and laughs to start the evening. The celebration looked to be going well. Laughtering family members and friends filled our living room. Every single one went well with the décor, the abundance of delicious snacks, and the jazz group I put together.
Elaine seemed truly moved by the unexpected turn of events. As she walked in, she smiled broadly and heard everyone say, “Happy Birthday!” I briefly allowed myself to think that we could start over since it felt nice to see her happy.
When my MIL approached me, she was all smiles, and it gave me more hope for a reunion. She sent me a thank you for the wonderful surprise party. She expressed her appreciation for the present as well, describing it as something “from my dreams.”
But towards the conclusion of the celebration, when Elaine turned on me, gleaming with an uncommon enthusiasm, the mood changed. Bill was taken aback by her announcement that a distinguished visitor was still to come.
There were murmurs in the room, a mixture of interest and expectation.
I was never ready for what came next, though! Following a brief phone conversation, Elaine got to her feet. She looked directly at me, and then, before Kathy entered the room, she just held out her hand to all of the visitors.
My heart dropped, and my stomach clenched!
Yeah, Kathy, the mother of Bill’s deceased kid and Bill’s ex before me! I was deeply hurt by the victory that glistened in Elaine’s eyes. She had planned this, looking forward to the surprise she knew it would cause.
“I happened to run into Kathy at the store,” Elaine casually said. “And I thought it would be nice to reintegrate the mother of my late grandchild into the family now that she’s back in town.”
The absurdity of the comment was that my MIL had been referring to the “grandchild” she was speaking of for six years! From then on, the rest of the night took a wild turn!
Elaine’s actions worsened my already uncomfortable situation, making me enraged!
She drifted about the gathering, gently nudges Kathy in Bill’s direction with an almost compulsive tenacity.
“Kathy, would you mind sitting next to him?” She would advise. “Kathy, could you go assist him with the grilling?” “Kathy, could you please ask him his location?” Her motives were clearly apparent, and every suggestion felt like a needle to my heart.
I tried to be calm and uninterested while I bit my tongue and clenched my hands under the table. But the ache got worse every hour that went by.
Until everyone was leaving and the LAST STRAW appeared. Elaine requested that Kathy give a heartfelt embrace to my hubby!
Even though he first protested, Elaine’s persistent efforts and everyone else’s gaze at the party eventually convinced him to give in. I felt something inside of me crack as they embraced.
After apologizing and shoving past the muttering guests, I hurried to my car and drove home till the dam burst. Hot tears poured down my cheeks, uncontrollably. I was sick of seeing Elaine’s vicious theater.
My heart was as broken as my thoughts, and I was a trembling wreck when Bill came home from the party and discovered me.
“Why did you drive off and leave our guests without an explanation, embarrassing me like that?” Bill asked me, not realizing what had been going on. “In order to get home, I had to get a ride with my cousin.”
“Why did YOU think you were hugging Kathy?” I went up to him as soon as we were by ourselves. His voice was a mix of sorrow and irritation as he said, “I didn’t want to upset my mom on her birthday.”
And you believed that upsetting ME now would make it easier to deal with ME later? I fired back, my voice revealing my anguish.
“Look, I know it was awkward, but is there any way we can move past this for tonight?” His brow wrinkled in frustration, he begged.
“No, not now, not ever,” I shot back, raising my voice. This goes beyond tonight. It’s about all the sideways looks and sneers she’s ever given me. The breaking point came tonight.
“Your mother must apologize or she is not welcome here,” I firmly said. Astonished, my spouse objected, saying, “Isn’t that going too far?”
“No,” I said, maintaining a calm tone despite my internal turmoil. “I really don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect respect anywhere, even in my own home.”
I questioned whether I was being unreasonable as I stood there, determined. Was I the “bad guy,” or was I just a scorned woman defending herself from the ghosts of the past? What are your thoughts, dear reader?