Should she help stop her freeloader mother from becoming homeless?
Knowing how to handle toxic family relationships is complicated because of our strong emotions toward our relatives. One Reddit user, Serious_Tank9423, took to the AITA subreddit to seek advice on a delicate family issue.
In the post, Serious_Tank9423 disclosed that her mom made bad decisions while they were growing up, leading to her and her brother being taken away due to an uninhabitable environment. Her mum never worked a day.
Instead, she lived off spousal support from her dad for ten years until it ran out. While Serious_Tank9423 was in college, she catered for her mom’s bills and raked in $10k debt.
Serious_Tank9423 is married now and has a newborn. Unfortunately, she lost her job and has been working multiple freelancing gigs to make ends meet.
Her mom lived with her grandparents, but when her grandmother died, and her grandpa went into a home, she moved to a mobile home. However, the problem now is that her mom would soon be homeless because she had not been paying rent fully.
Her mom reached out to her, saying she needed a place to spend the night and that she would be out of her hair the next day as she was expecting a loan soon. Serious_Tank9423 is skeptical about letting her mom in because she feels her mom would want to stay longer than she claims.
Although she admits she loves her mom, Serious_Tank9423 said she doesn’t want to keep enabling her. Here is how the AITA community responded to her post.
Here’s how it started.
She could soon be homeless.
Her mom made bad life choices.
Should she help her mom? Reddit responded.
1. Her mom needs to learn the hard lesson to get her act together.
2. She would be enabling her mom by rendering any assistance.
3. It is okay for her not to assist her mom.
4. Unfortunately, she can’t help her mom.
5. Her mom is an adult and shouldn’t be getting handouts.
6. Her mom is responsible for herself.
7. It’s time for her mom to be financially responsible.
8. She doesn’t owe her mom anything.
9. She should focus on her family instead.
10. It’s time for her to put herself and her family first.
11. She shouldn’t start because it will always continue.
12. Once a freeloader, always a freeloader.
13. It is time for her mom to learn what being an adult is.
14. Her child should be her priority, not her mom.
15. If she allows her mom in, she will have to kick her out at some point.
16. Her mom won’t stay temporarily.
17. She should encourage her mom to seek assistance from the government.
18. Since her mom claims she wants to stay a night only, she should get her mom a hotel instead.
19. Getting her mom into a motel is a much better alternative.
20. There’s a probability that her mom has mental issues.
What Do You Think?
Toxic family members are emotionally unhealthy and destructive. They are harmful to themselves and their family.
There are no easy solutions for dealing with such people, so sometimes, you may wonder whether you are wrong for setting boundaries.
However, learning to protect your boundaries, despite criticism and negative feedback, can help you maintain your sanity.
