However, her intentions backfired. Instead of feeling appreciated, the family reacted negatively, accusing her of being a “stalker” for paying such close attention to their hobbies and preferences. Despite the harsh reaction, none of them returned the gifts, which left her feeling confused and even more embarrassed.
This situation underscores the complexities of merging into a partner’s family and the challenges of making a positive impression. What one person sees as a kind gesture might not always be received as intended, especially in a family dynamic that may differ greatly from what one is used to. Ultimately, it’s a reminder that navigating relationships with in-laws can be tricky, and not every attempt at kindness will be understood the way you hope.
She only met them the first time this previous summer because of the pandemic. They did speak on the phone many times prior to their meeting.
OP and Noah also moved recently so he can be closer to his family. They are about to get married in February and are already expecting their first child around May.
OP on the other hand only has Noah for family. She didn’t have the healthiest upbringing and the only sibling she has, she isn’t close to.
Given the context, it is understandable why OP craves a strong familial bond which she believed Noah’s family had. So, for Christmas, OP wanted to be extra thoughtful with her gifts to show how much she appreciated Noah’s family.
She bought each person in his family thoughtful items they mentioned loving or needing before. OP picked up on their hobbies and interests and tailored each gift to their liking.
She spent months tracking down some of the more obscure items and even handmade some of them
For example, she made a book sleeve for Noah’s sister with tiny etchings from all of her favorite books
She bought his mom a jewelry box she admired multiple times after lamenting not having a real one
Noah also helped out and told OP his family would love the thoughtful gifts but told OP she shouldn’t have put in so much effort but OP brushed it off
OP can tell something was wrong when they opened the gifts and sure enough, Noah was questioned why OP behaved like a stalker who got them such personal items when she was a stranger to them
One of his sister’s called OP a stalker to her face and said she was so creepy. OP kept apologizing and reassuring them that she will learn from this mistake.
Noah didn’t share the sentiment and demanded that his family apologize to OP. He told her she did nothing wrong but with the reaction her gifts got, OP was inclined to disagree with her fiancé.
Noah’s sister also said OP’s stalker behavior was the reason why her family abandoned her which is such an awful thing to say
For all the complaining Noah’s family made, none of them returned OP’s wonderful gifts
OP said she learned a lot from what happened and can see why the gifts can be overwhelming for some people. She also saw the support and now realize she actually did nothing wrong and promised to continue working on her self-worth.
People in the comments were not as kind or understanding as OP and I’m 100% on their side
OP and Noah need to discuss why his family treated OP that way. There has to be a deeper reason or are they just collectively terrible people?
None of their reactions were remotely okay. Even when you get a bad gift you don’t react that way.
Their reaction is so out of left field
A person whose way of showing affection is through gifts gave much-needed perspective on why Noah’s family acted so horrendously
Instead of looking in and reflecting on why they felt so strongly about some thoughtful gifts, they lashed out at the person who had no ill will towards them
From the looks of it, they would have found some flaw no matter what gift OP gave them
National-Platypus144, smparke2424
OP has a lot of work to do seeing as she is still convinced the fallout was her fault and not Noah’s family
MoonGladeLadyBug, GoldRule5896
OP has more important things to tacke. She and Noah are about to start their own family! They should focus on protecting their bubble.
MoonGladeLadyBug, GoldRule5896
OP’s gifts were absolutely thoughtful and showed how generous & caring she was as a person
That could be another reason why they were so thrown off by OP’s thoughtfulness
You would think Noah’s parents would feel delighted to have someone like OP be a part of their family, but no. They are just as bad as the rest of them and OP deserves better.
I’ve been on Reddit too much because I fully expected Noah to side with his family and throw OP under the bus. It’s a good thing that he proved the assumptions wrong and in this case, the apple fell far from his family tree.
OP seems like a wonderful person. She is someone who actually listens and pays attention to the individual she talks to; she’s going to do just fine, Noah’s family on the other hand…
