With her wedding approaching, she found herself at odds with her family after deciding not to give her stepmother the title of “Mother of the Bride.” To her, that role belonged solely to her biological mom — the woman who had been there from day one.
Though she appreciated her stepmom’s presence and support over the years, she felt that assigning such a deeply personal title would be unfair to her mother. But not everyone saw it that way.
Her decision stirred strong emotions, especially from her father and stepmother, who felt hurt and excluded. What should’ve been a joyful time of celebration suddenly turned tense — all because of one title that carries more weight than many realize.
However, when the bride or groom belongs to a blended family, they may decide to have their stepparents participate in those activities too. Their decision to involve or not involve them in these activities may cause some complications.
We found a story on the AITA subreddit that tells a similar story.
OP shared that her parents had gotten divorced when she was five, and her father remarried not too long after.
Since then, her stepmom had tried to act like a second mom toward her, even though that sometimes meant depriving her biological mom of time with her. OP stated that although she liked her stepmom, she didn’t see her as a second mom.
However, some of her family members referred to her stepmom as the mother of the bride on Facebook, and OP didn’t like this one bit.
She shared her feelings with her dad and stepmom, also explaining that she wanted to experience some things with her mother alone. This upset them, leading OP to ask the AITA question.
Scroll down to read the full story!
Let’s dig into the details…
OP explained that her parents got divorced when she was still very young. Apparently, her dad remarried, and despite the efforts made by her stepmom to fill a second mom role, OP never really warmed up to her
OP, in preparation for her wedding, made it clear to her stepmom that she wanted the position of “mother of the bride” to be reserved for her mother alone. This hurt OP’s stepmom and dad, but it gave the family an opportunity to discussion about how OP’s mom has been dying in silence all these years while her motherly position was being taken away from her
OP’s stepmom still protested the idea, as she felt that the years she had spent taking care of OP should have been enough to gain her love and respect. In addition, OP brought up the topic with her mom, who only reiterated that all she wants is the very best for OP
The post went viral, garnering over 7k upvotes and more than 800 comments. Let’s see what the Reddit community had to say about this story:
As long as OP’s mother is alive, no other person is getting her title
“Don’t let them walk all over you and your mother.”
“They could be gracious and let your mom have her mother daughter moment while looking for a dress.”
“Your mom was painfully gracious about it your whole life, and it’s only fair that she gets to have this with you.”
“Pushing the second mum thing has driven a wedge between you that’s entirely of her making”
“NTA its your wedding, your mother, your choice.”
“It’s ok to want to have some moments just for your mother and you even offered to have stepmom included in other things (which is more than many do)”
“I understand why stepmom is hurt and would like the affirmation of being a second mom after all these years, but she should let it go like Elsa.”
“Your step mum needs to accept that she has lived a privileged lift due to your mum being so gracious and step the fuck back.”
“You offered to find your SM another, unique, role and that’s very generous of you. If they’re smart they’ll realize and accept.”
“Your mother DESERVES her time to be your mom and it’s your wedding you get to choose.”
The Reddit community ruled that OP is NTA. They believe that she is well within her rights to choose who she wants to enjoy meaningful experiences with.
They also believe that OP’s dad was being unfair to her mom, as he was expecting her to accept what he couldn’t.
What do you think about this story? Was OP right to deny her stepmom such a privilege or do you think she made the right decision? Let us know in the comments below!
