Sometimes when we go through difficult things where all we need is for someone to recognize our struggle. This doesn’t solve the problem, but there is a sense of relief in knowing that someone sees how hard we are trying.
OP should have seen how uncomfortable his wife was around the new additions to their family but he chose to deal with it in the worst way possible. His dad’s house burned down and he had to move to a hostel.
OP told his dad he was welcome to stay at their home but he refused and instead asked for help with another issue. He has a dog and three cats who suddenly found themselves without a home.
This was supposed to be a temporary solution but it has been four months since they fostered the animals. OP says that his wife is turning into a different person because of the cats and dogs.
He gave several examples of her “unacceptable” behavior. The dog has a habit of whining and staring while OP’s wife is eating which frustrates her to no end.
She will then tell the dog to move to the other room but the dog finds a way to stick his head out of the doorway to beg for food again. She takes her dinner out on the porch to avoid the dog and eat in peace.
Even the three cats which she significantly tolerates better have been getting on her nerves
The cats will immediately knock anything she holds onto to ask her to play with them. It doesn’t matter if it’s her phone or a book, they will jump up and swipe it out of her hands.
They also jump on the bed at 3 a.m. to wake her up every single night
OP have seen this happen with his own eyes and says her frustration with the cats is understandable but he believes her “overreaction” is ridiculous
She finally had enough when the cat swiped the phone off her hand while she was on a call
She also yelled at the dog to get the f*ck away when he kept jumping at her while she was cooking. She yelled at OP that she was tired of being mauled all the time.
OP met her anger with his own frustration and snapped at her to stop being a drama queen. She left the house without turning the stove off, walked away, and hasn’t come home since.
Four months with no end in sight is not really a temporary situation
OP knows the animals will be staying with them a lot longer than he agreed to but he still can’t see why his wife is so frustrated
OP was busy watching his wife get annoyed by the animals until she snaps
They probably latched on her because she has been doing majority of the work that goes into their care
She is understandably frustrated because she is tolerating animals she didn’t want in the first place
OP knows how she feels about pets and somehow still sees her as a drama queen
OP showed how little regard he gave his wife when he agreed to foster animals. Her sympathy to his dad’s situation can only go so far before her true feelings surface.
Her life was disrupted and she was forced to make adjustments that make her uncomfortable. OP has to apologize now before her resentment grows.
OP’s disregard of her feelings just tells her that he is prioritizing the animals over her
OP has to find a solution before his wife leaves him to deal with the animals by himself
This woman has resorted to bringing her food to the porch just so she can eat in peace in her own home
OP should have apologized to her and promised that he will start to find another place to keep the animals safe instead of calling her a drama queen
It’s one thing to willingly become a pet owner but to suddenly have 4 poorly behaved animals given to you is an entirely different subject
OP has to realize how much he f*cked up before his wife rehomes more than just the animals. If he doesn’t want to be a single man struggling to keep four pets from clawing at him, he has to find the right way to apologize to her.
He either finds another arrangement for the pets or lets his wife slowly realize what an inconsiderate jerk she married. His choice will determine if he will live with his or his dad’s pets in the foreseeable future.
