I thought I had gotten lucky with my daughter-in-law… But after the wedding, she turned into a completely different person.
When my son Alex brought Stephanie home, I immediately felt fortunate. She seemed like a simple, tidy, and organized girl. Their home was always spotless, everything in its place, and she cooked delicious meals. She was polite, cheerful, and friendly—never a harsh word from her. We met often—sometimes they’d visit me at the countryside, and other times I’d stop by for tea. I never felt uncomfortable; in fact, Stephanie always made an effort to help and ensure I felt at ease. I was happy for both my son and myself. Finally, I thought he had found someone who would give him a real family.
They had been dating for only six months when Alex proposed. Stephanie, of course, accepted but immediately expressed her dream of having a beautiful wedding—with a white dress, a limousine, and a photographer. They didn’t have much money then, so they decided to save up for six months. I didn’t interfere—money was tight for me too, and offering advice without being asked isn’t always wise. They were in love, and that was what mattered.
The wedding unfolded just as they envisioned. I gave them money instead of buying unnecessary things—so they could decide what they needed most. The guests were mainly their friends; my friend, who is Alex’s godmother, couldn’t make it. I stayed for a bit before leaving to let the youngsters enjoy themselves. We had already planned to gather together at my countryside place the next day.
The next day, my friend and I prepared everything—salads, barbecues. The newlyweds arrived. I noticed Stephanie seemed sullen and distant, engrossed in her phone all day, barely acknowledging me. Alex helped a little, but she didn’t lift a finger. I chalked it up to wedding exhaustion and nerves.
But this behavior continued. Our meetings became rare and always at my initiation. I didn’t push; understanding they were a young couple adjusting to each other and their new home. Still, I longed to see my son at least once a month.
On Alex’s birthday, I got him a gift and called to drop by, hoping to stay just five minutes to give it to him. He said they weren’t celebrating due to financial constraints. I understood. But half an hour later, Stephanie called me back in a chilly tone: “We want to be alone, don’t be upset.” I thought maybe they were planning a romantic surprise. However, I later learned they had guests—friends. They simply didn’t invite me. No one told me anything. I was… ignored.
I felt like an outsider. Unneeded. Forgotten.
A little while later, I wanted to drop by again as I was passing through. I called—Stephanie answered, saying they weren’t home. Yet later, Alex inadvertently mentioned they’d been home all day. I didn’t confront them. I thought maybe Stephanie was going through a tough time or just needed to play at being the daughter-in-law before returning to normal interactions. I didn’t want to turn Alex against her, nor become that mother-in-law from the jokes.
But the last straw came recently. I bumped into Stephanie at a shop—literally nose to nose. As a polite person, I greeted her. She… acted as though she hadn’t seen me. Walked past as if I were invisible. I stood there in bewilderment. Am I really so insignificant to her, unworthy of even a simple “hello”?
I didn’t call Alex. Didn’t complain. As much as I wanted to confront Stephanie and ask what I had done wrong, why she turned away from me, I stayed silent. I hold onto a flicker of hope that all this isn’t permanent. Maybe she’s expecting a child, and it’s just hormones stirring things up, or as people say, she’s losing her cool. Or maybe… she’s just always been like this, and her pre-wedding kindness was an act to win us over. And now the mask is off.
I don’t know if I should confront her directly. Perhaps time will indeed sort everything out. But right now, I feel unnecessary. And it’s frightening, especially when you’re not an enemy, not a stranger, but the mother of the man she calls her husband.
Tell me, do you think a mother-in-law should speak up when she feels such pain? Or should she endure and wait, hoping that her daughter-in-law will eventually see reason? Why has Stephanie changed so much after the wedding? Where is the girl I once genuinely delighted in seeing?