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If your partner makes 200,000 yearly and you make 20, 000. Is it fair to think that , after 12 yrs and 2 kids later, you deserve some security? I payed for our kids everything and the family groceries. I have 0 savings, he , on the other hand has saved and invested quite alot.

by Alex Johnson
March 15, 2026
in Aita, Family, Relationships
Reading Time: 5 mins read
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For twelve years, she poured her heart and soul into their family, sacrificing her own needs to nurture their children and keep their home running. While she managed the daily grind and bore the emotional weight, he quietly amassed savings and investments, shielding himself behind empty promises of fairness and protection that never materialized.

Now separated, she faces a brutal reality: his words twist into accusations, claiming she had every chance to save and protect herself, while he dismisses the years of emotional abuse and silent suffering. The life she built in the shadows of his neglect feels threatened, as she fights not just for a share of their home, but for the recognition of her sacrifices and her dignity.

If your partner makes 200,000 yearly and you make 20, 000. Is it fair to think that , after 12 yrs and 2 kids later, you deserve some security? I payed for our kids everything and the family groceries. I have 0 savings, he , on the other hand has saved and invested quite alot.

I payed for our kids everything, the family groceries and...

I did 95% of household things and tended to our...

AITAH for feeli g like he emotionally and financially a**sed...

We were together 12 yrs and he continuously "promissed" me...

If I pressed him, he'd say " don't you trust...

He verbally a**sed me and threatened me constantly. The last...

When I spoke to my ex about it, he approached...

I cried and spiraled down into a dark hole whilst...

According to family law experts specializing in common-law separations, while Quebec law may not automatically recognize common-law partners for asset division as married couples do, the concept of unjust enrichment or unjust enrichment claims can sometimes be argued when one partner has clearly enriched the other at their own expense without adequate compensation. This situation involves significant uncompensated domestic labor and childcare, which often forms the basis of such claims.

The dynamic described points strongly toward an imbalance of power and financial coercion. The OP consistently subsidized the family’s daily needs while the partner accumulated savings, creating a situation of financial dependency. Furthermore, the partner’s failure to formalize promised protections, coupled with the dismissal of a serious personal violation (the assault by the friend), suggests a pattern of invalidating the OP’s emotional and physical safety for his own convenience and to maintain control. This pattern aligns with textbook definitions of emotional and financial abuse.

The OP’s actions in prioritizing immediate family needs over personal savings, given the partner’s assurances, were an act of partnership contribution, not financial irresponsibility. Moving forward, the OP should immediately consult a lawyer specializing in unjust enrichment claims in Quebec, focusing on quantifying the value of the domestic labor and childcare provided over the twelve years. The constructive recommendation is to pursue legal remedies based on equitable contributions rather than relying on past promises.

What do you think of this story?





HERE’S HOW REDDIT BLEW UP AFTER HEARING THIS – PEOPLE COULDN’T BELIEVE IT.

she_who_knits And this is why you don't shack up and...

They strengthened and broadened it this year to include partner...

blz4200 >I payed for our kids everything, the family groceries...

swigbar Maam. The time for this discussion was 12 years...

AnnaRPsub Just going to be the a*shole here. So 10...

Then such things happen you still don't and now you...

This problem has everything to do with you not protecting...

Hiitsmetodd You got played. Start looking for work and move...

mustang19671967 He paid 95% of everything , arw you going...

Was the house in both your names or only his...

shammy_dammy What exactly do you think you should get?

The individual in this situation feels deeply betrayed, believing their substantial, unpaid contributions to the household and childcare have been disregarded following the separation. The core conflict lies between the expectation of reciprocal fairness for twelve years of non-monetary labor and the legal reality of their unmarried status without protective agreements.

Considering the extensive, uncompensated labor and emotional toll endured, is the former partner ethically obligated to provide significant financial restitution, or is the former partner’s stance—that the separation of assets is justified because the plaintiff chose not to save money—legally and morally defensible?

Alex Johnson

Alex is an expert in finance and often shares tips on managing personal money.

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