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AITAH for pointing out to my fiancé that if she wants kids, she has to actually have s*x with me.

by Emily Davis
April 20, 2026
in Aita, Relationships
Reading Time: 5 mins read
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For six years, their love burned bright and fierce, a passionate connection that seemed unbreakable. But beneath the surface of this once vibrant romance, shadows have crept in — a lost job, silent struggles, and a growing distance that feels like an unspoken chasm between two souls who once couldn’t keep their hands off each other.

Now, she recoils from the touch that used to ignite their fire, her warmth replaced by a coldness that confounds and hurts. Despite heartfelt conversations and dreams of a future together, the passion that once defined them flickers faintly, leaving him caught between hope and heartbreak as they navigate the fragile space between love and longing.

AITAH for pointing out to my fiancé that if she wants kids, she has to actually have sex with me.

The narrator and his fiancé have been together for six...

The narrator lost his job for a period, and his...

Despite multiple conversations about rekindling their physical connection, nothing has...

Meanwhile, the fiancé frequently discusses their future marriage and children...

During a family dinner, she repeatedly talked about her desire...

Later, when they were alone, he told her that they...

This led to a heated argument where she yelled at...

Dr. Esther Perel, a renowned psychotherapist and author of ‘Mating in Captivity’, explains that eroticism requires a sense of autonomy and space that is often lost when partners become overly focused on domestic goals or caretaking. In this situation, the fiancé’s mental and physical health issues may have shifted her focus toward the safety of future family planning while simultaneously creating a physical barrier to current intimacy. Her focus on children represents a desire for the long-term stability of the relationship, but it ignores the immediate breakdown of their physical bond.

The narrator’s behavior reflects a build-up of resentment caused by unmet needs and a perceived lack of effort from his partner. While his comment was factually true, the timing and delivery were reactive rather than constructive. This type of communication often leads to defensiveness rather than resolution. The fiancé’s intense emotional response suggests she may feel deep shame or pressure regarding her lack of desire, which was triggered by the narrator’s blunt statement.

The narrator’s actions were understandable but ultimately unhelpful for the health of the relationship. It is recommended that the couple prioritize professional counseling to address the physical and mental health hurdles affecting their intimacy before making any further plans for marriage or children. He should focus on expressing his own feelings of isolation rather than using sarcasm or blunt logic to point out his partner’s perceived shortcomings.

What do you think of this story?





AFTER THIS STORY DROPPED, REDDIT WENT INTO MELTDOWN MODE – CHECK OUT WHAT PEOPLE SAID.

lolshiro Sounds like a quarrel that couples actually have after...

Fit_Impression_6037 NTA. You do need to improve your mutual communication,...

Ok-B**terscotch-6708 NTA but kids NEVER help a relationship. You think...

Just wait until you're knee deep in snot, dirty diapers,...

RLLCCR NTA. She's ignoring the rift and your concerns while...

How are you supposed to be excited for a future...

She wants you to apologize excessively to create a dynamic...

amotion_87 A little bit too much of the REAL came...

Also yes. You're being realistic when you start thinking, "The...

Is this someone I can REALLY spend the rest of...

Mental and physical issues. It seemingly changed who she was...

Theres a way forward here if you guys want to...

pa*siveflux Do not have kids in thus situation

It never makes the situation better and will often make it worse

metallee98 Nta. Don't marry her. These issues almost never improve...

And then, if this gets resolved you both gotta do...

The narrator feels a deep sense of frustration and loneliness due to the lack of physical intimacy in his relationship. He is struggling with the contradiction between his fiancé’s enthusiastic plans for a family and her complete withdrawal from physical affection.

Was the narrator’s blunt comment a necessary reality check to address a failing relationship? Or was his remark an insensitive attack on a partner already struggling with health and mental well-being?

Emily Davis

Emily writes heartfelt stories about family, parenting, and personal growth.

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