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AITA for not longer wanting to look after my siblings now that my parents have been given custody by the courts?

by Emily Davis
June 27, 2026
in Aita
Reading Time: 4 mins read
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Caught in the turmoil of her parents’ bitter divorce, a 22-year-old woman finds herself thrust into the unexpected role of caretaker for her three much younger siblings. What began as a temporary refuge from the chaos has become a heavy burden, as the weight of responsibility clashes with her own dreams and struggles.

Despite her love for her siblings, exhaustion and frustration have set in, leaving her torn between duty and self-preservation. The fragile hope for family unity now battles with the harsh reality of her limits, as she faces the heart-wrenching choice of saying no to a role she never truly wanted.

AITA for not longer wanting to look after my siblings now that my parents have been given custody by the courts?

My parents have recently finalized their divorce, which began because...

During the year-long proceedings, both parents accused each other of...

I volunteered to look after them. Now that the custody...

I love my siblings, but my twelve-year-old brother is autistic...

Over the past year, my boyfriend broke up with me...

I no longer want to look after them or be...

Dr. Gabor Maté, a well-known expert on stress and family relationships, states that taking on excessive family stress while ignoring one’s own basic needs leads to severe psychological and physical burnout. In this situation, the twenty-two-year-old daughter took on the role of a parent to protect her siblings during a highly contentious divorce. While her intervention was necessary during the initial crisis, her parents are now avoiding their responsibilities by expecting her to remain the permanent caregiver. This unfair expectation has already caused her grades to drop, her relationship to end, and her job to be at risk.

The daughter’s decision to stop being the primary caregiver is appropriate and necessary to protect her own future. She should set firm boundaries with her parents and provide them with a specific date by which they must take full custody of the children. Additionally, she should encourage her parents to seek professional support services for her autistic brother instead of relying on her to provide specialized care.

What do you think of this story?





REDDIT USERS WERE STUNNED – YOU WON’T BELIEVE SOME OF THESE REACTIONS.

jwpete27 NTA...they got in an ugly custody battle over the...

Step out of the middle, give them the kids back,...

DaiZzedandConFuZed NTA. Your parents are dumping their children on you,...

riritreetop NTA. Time for your parents to be parents.

Consistent_Language9 Nta, but INFO: where do you live that the...

I've never heard of any custody and/or a**se cases working...

guiltypleasure39 NTA. You stepped in to parent when your actual...

With that said, I hope you don't plan to completely...

starvinartist NTA you stepped in when they couldn't do it....

But they don't want to because your parents seem like...

Go out, live your life, start dating, improve your grades,...

Even with costs covered, it had a detrimental effect on...

SammyLoops1 NTA - Jeez, this is terrible. You are not...

It's too much and grossly unfair to you and your...

The eldest daughter is deeply exhausted after sacrificing her relationship, her university grades, and her job security to keep her young siblings out of foster care. She is torn between her love for her siblings and her need to establish her own adult life, while her parents refuse to step up and resume their parental duties.

Is it reasonable for a young adult to stop caring for her siblings in order to protect her own future, or is she wrong to step away when the children still need a stable environment?

Emily Davis

Emily writes heartfelt stories about family, parenting, and personal growth.

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