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AITA for refusing to get my daughter a b***st reduction?

by Charlie Brown
June 27, 2026
in Aita
Reading Time: 8 mins read
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A once vibrant gymnast, she now wrestles with the silent weight of change. Puberty has not only transformed her body but shattered the confidence that once propelled her to the podium. The very essence of her identity feels strained, as her chest becomes both a source of pain and a barrier to the dreams she once chased without hesitation.

In her quest for relief and acceptance, she clings to the hope that altering her body will restore her spirit. The binder she wears is a fragile shield against discomfort, yet it brings its own scars. Her plea for a reduction is more than a request—it is a desperate reach for freedom from the physical and emotional chains that threaten to end her passion for gymnastics.

AITA for refusing to get my daughter a breast reduction?

My daughter is a teenager who hit puberty a few...

One of the reasons she lost confidence is because her...

Lately, she's been claiming that her chest size causes her...

Last year, she started wearing a chest binder and she...

She approached me and told me she wants to get...

She basically is saying the binder makes her sore, and...

She claimed that if she didn't get a reduction, she'd...

I tried to present her side as fairly as possible,...

She also complains a lot about not finding stuff 'that...

All of these reasons to me are cosmetic reasons, not...

However, I don't think changing her body on a teenage...

According to Dr. Elizabeth Alderman, a pediatrician and member of the American Academy of Pediatrics’ Committee on Adolescence, breast reduction surgery can be a highly beneficial procedure for teenage girls, significantly improving physical symptoms, self-esteem, and overall quality of life.

The daughter’s situation demonstrates a clear intersection of physical and psychological distress. Her use of a chest binder, despite the soreness it causes, indicates a desperate attempt to find comfort and maintain her athletic performance. Dismissing her complaints of back pain and physical strain as mere cosmetic insecurity overlooks the very real physical demands of gymnastics and the anatomical changes of puberty. This dismissal risks alienating the teenager and exacerbating her distress, as she feels unheard regarding her own body.

The parent’s decision to outright deny the surgery based on personal assumptions is inappropriate. A constructive approach would involve consulting with a pediatrician and a pediatric plastic surgeon to objectively evaluate the physical strain and determine if a reduction is medically appropriate, thereby shifting the decision from a family conflict to a professional medical assessment.

What do you think of this story?





THE COMMENTS SECTION WENT WILD – REDDIT HAD *A LOT* TO SAY ABOUT THIS ONE.

traipse75 YTA, not for refusing the surgery but for the...

However, you make it seem like you can't imagine your...

I had to quit compet*tive cross country the year after...

If she's taking it seriously enough to wear a binder...

NeptuneAndCherry Let me guess: you're either a man, or you're...

I'd talk to a cosmetic surgeon about whether or not...

But I'd absolutely talk to a cosmetic surgeon and stop...

taykelly28 I say this unfortunately because I feel you're acting...

Binders can be dangerous if worn too long and while...

I'm 23 now with back problems and a shoulder issue...

I want desperately to get a reduction and I wish...

You may think that she's simply being a follower and...

cubbiegthrow YTA. Your daughter has very real concerns that can...

She's not insecure. She is in pain, and her size...

little-angelf**k Transgender man here who wears a binder. They are...

eaca02124 YTA. Your daughter has lost confidence, has back pain,...

One of those is a psychological reason (and it really...

You need to bring a doctor in on this. You...

While I understand your caution, you do not get to...

thepa*swordisdonkey I am going to break down all of the...

She used to be an outstanding gymnast, but since puberty,...

You are already minimizing her statements by framing her performance...

> Lately, she's been claiming that her chest size causes...

Your use of the word 'claim' makes it sound like...

> She basically is saying the binder makes her sore,...

Yes, large b***sts causing back pain and binders causing soreness...

> She claimed that if she didn't get a reduction,...

> I know my daughter can be very insecure and...

> She also complains a lot about not finding stuff...

Have you taken her to get a professional bra fitting?...

> All of these reasons to me are cosmetic reasons,...

> My daughter is very upset, and is still threatening...

> However, I don't think changing her body on a...

I have also suffered insecurity, poorly fitting clothes, physical pain...

I have opted not to get a b***st reduction, because...

It took me until my 20s to find a properly-fitted...

Sports bras that allow me to exercise without discomfort are...

The daughter is experiencing significant physical pain and emotional distress as puberty has altered her body, conflicting with her passion for gymnastics. Meanwhile, the parent views these struggles as typical teenage insecurities, creating a deep divide over whether her physical discomfort is a genuine medical issue or merely a cosmetic complaint.

Should a parent prioritize their teenager’s immediate physical comfort and sports participation by consenting to a breast reduction, or are they right to refuse a permanent surgical procedure that they believe is driven by adolescent insecurity?

Charlie Brown

Charlie is a creative mind who enjoys writing about art, music, and culture.

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