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AITA for not wanting to help pay for my child’s University fees?

by Alex Johnson
July 19, 2026
in Advice, Aita
Reading Time: 6 mins read
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In the span of a single month, a man’s world was turned upside down by the revelation of a daughter he never knew existed. Faced with the sudden presence of Jane, an 18-year-old seeking connection, he wrestled with disbelief and a reluctant desire to open a door long closed, stepping into a relationship he never anticipated.

When he finally confronted Grace, the mother of his child, the silence between them screamed louder than words. Her admission of bitterness and revenge cut deep, exposing the tangled pain and lost years that had shaped their fractured past, leaving them all grappling with the consequences of choices made in anger and silence.

AITA for not wanting to help pay for my child’s University fees?

A forty-year-old man suddenly discovers he has an eighteen-year-old daughter...

As the father and daughter attempt to build a connection,...

I recently found out that I have an eighteen-year-old daughter...

We talked, and she gave me her mother Grace's number....

Jane and I spent a week bonding, but then she...

I feel she might be using me because she only...

According to Dr. Joshua Coleman, a psychologist specializing in family relationships, building a connection after years of absence requires establishing trust before introducing financial expectations. When a parent and child reunite, the sudden introduction of financial requests can severely damage the fragile bond, making the parent feel exploited rather than valued.

The mother’s decision to hide the child out of anger deprived both the father and daughter of a relationship during her formative years. Now, at eighteen, Jane’s immediate request for college tuition creates an imbalance of power and emotional labor. The OP’s skepticism is a natural defense mechanism against potential manipulation, as there is no established history of mutual support or emotional connection between them.

The OP’s hesitation is appropriate under these circumstances. To handle this effectively, he should communicate his boundaries clearly, refusing the immediate financial request while offering to build a relationship first. If he wishes to help, he could offer a smaller, conditional contribution tied to her academic performance, ensuring he does not become a mere financial lifeline.

What do you think of this story?





THIS STORY SHOOK THE INTERNET – AND REDDITORS DIDN’T HOLD BACK.

SlumberSlug She was a teen who was manipulated by her...

I don't think you should fault your child for her...

Also, while her grades may be underwhelming, she still deserves...

AmishAngst I"m gonna say NAH, but there's a lot of...

You do not put adult responsibilities of forging a relationship...

If you really need to place blame, then that's on...

No minor child should be contacting strangers on their own...

I also think it's an a*shole thing to look at...

It just comes off as petty and superficial. So, legally,...

But please take the prior two things out of our...

persian_hunter NTA but she is a kid that was raised...

Ask your self this am i Willing to risk loosing...

happybanana134 NAH except Grace. Grace lied to you and Jane;...

From what you've written, it does not sound like Grace...

MissSuzieSunshine NTA at all for how you feel. Firstly, Im...

Secondly, its understandable why Jane didnt contact you before, particularly...

Thirdly, its your choice whether or not to pay for...

However, you also never had to pay child support for...

Additionally if you choose not to help Jane financially, chances...

You say (now) that you just want to wash your...

superlosernerd INFO: when you say "everything checks out", does that...

caly_100 I feel uniquely qualified to comment on this as...

My mom is a good woman but she certainly has...

Im going to say NAH except for Grace, and I...

I hope this helps and I hope you and Jane...

The protagonist feels conflicted and suspicious after his newly discovered daughter quickly asks for university funding. He wants to protect his financial boundaries and suspects he is being used, which clashes with the societal expectation that a father should support his child, even one he has just met.

Should a biological father feel obligated to fund the education of a child he has never known, or is he justified in refusing to support a stranger who may only want his money?

Alex Johnson

Alex is an expert in finance and often shares tips on managing personal money.

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