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AITA for asking my girlfriend to give away her cat?

by Ankit
July 20, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 8 mins read
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When two hearts decide to build a home together, it often feels like nothing can go wrong. After two years of love, laughter, and growing side by side, moving in seems like the natural next step—a symbol of shared commitment and future dreams.

But even the strongest bonds can be shaken by what hides beneath the surface. What should be a joyful new beginning becomes a quiet test of resilience, as unexpected challenges force them to confront a painful truth: that love, while powerful, sometimes needs more than good intentions to survive the weight of reality.

AITA for asking my girlfriend to give away her cat?

# Original (with edits due to limited character count): To...

after we both discussed moving in together, I asked her...

She has had Riley for 8 years now and it...

I didn't know this was a problem before we moved...

I would maybe have a cough and some watery eyes,...

I just chalked it up to the pollen (another thing...

I started developing hives, I start coughing, and it became...

I tried seeking medication and I tried 3 different antihistamines...

Eventually, after this, I decided to ask my girlfriend to...

as I wanted Riley to have a great home I...

Then when I finally asked, she said she wasn't giving...

and that's when I showed her the list with all...

# Other things I could add to above (condensed): Also,...

Like I have just gotten in and I've been in...

- Some of you have found out my real-ident*ty and...

I would like to keep this conversation on my reddit...

just due to limitations on character-count and I want some...

What do you think of this story?





LET’S SEE WHAT REDDIT COMMENTS HAD TO SAY – BECAUSE THIS STORY LEFT EVERYONE STUNNED.

Jessicamorrell YTA. You should never ask someone with a pet...

Pets become people's family. Go back to living seperately and...

hanadecks no offense but i'm pretty sure she'd rather keep...

cla*s="comment_author">InkedAlly: YTA The cat has been longer in her life...

How comes you didn't know about the allergy before you...

It seems like you won't be moving in together yet...

(And most people would dump their partners right away if...

Truth be told,

I've always asked about cat allergies before dating and it...

cla*s="comment_author">Left-Occasion-8445: YTA. You decided to try to find a home...

I'm sorry you're allergic but don't be surprised if she...

Significant_Cat_3 Honestly it sounds like she might be more upset...

(making a list of potential re-homes) before even asking her....

To her it may have sounded more like a command...

Or at least was upset that you would even suggest...

TBH if she has been aware of your allergies for...

Especially since she's had the cat for 8 years,

meaning that she's both had the cat in her life...

funchefchick So you find yourself in this unfortunate situation and...

and saying "I love you, I love Riley, but I...

Can we talk about strategies and possible options together ?

" YOUR big idea was to present her a list...

Dude. YTA. And I suspect the cat will not be...

Not because of your allergy; because she won't forgive or...

strangely_awesome ‍: INFO: When you say you made a list...

people on the list?

Because I would not be happy that my boyfriend discussed...

me. And if you didn't discuss it with them the...

Doll_girl516 YTA !

She's had the cat for 8 years and you for...

catbakesandmakes She should move back out keep cat and I...

being the sub and website this is, perhaps I shouldn't...

The lack of logic and basic empathy and understanding in...

I don't usually comment on these but I really feel...

I finished Med school last year and am working towards...

is absolutely right that he is being held to a...

THEMSELVES. He is A FIRST YEAR.

The amount of people who approach me knowing I'm a...

subspecialist would is just insane. Here's the thing. Even if...

Each field has a vast expanse of knowledge and Allergology...

is already seeking treatment and guidance from a specialist who...

You all need to stop jumping down his throat and...

already seeking treatment for. 2. I adore animals, all kinds,...

They are legitimately my babies and yes, if an SO...

I understand! I love them so much and I would...

that is NOT AT ALL the issue here between OP...

This is a new problem that arose AFTER moving in...

Allergies freaking suck and OPs sound very severe. If I...

s girlfriend and saw my SO was having such an...

other options. It's not sustainable in the long term and...

it would at the very least warrant a conversation about...

or trying to temporarily rehome the cat or SOMETHING while...

The fact that it doesn't seem like she was thinking...

Yes, perhaps his way of approaching the issue was a...

To me it seems like he was trying to say...

wouldn't think I didn't care about their welfare and you...

He didn't tell her point blank "hey get rid of...

I understand her reaction in the moment because of the...

after that she would do best to put that aside...

If she can't do that I think that may be...

DOING THAT MAKES **YOU** THE AH!! Leave people alone. Stuff...

RickyBobbyLite I'm not even talking about the allergies,

YTA for asking people if they would take her beloved...

The Reddit comments reflect just how deeply this situation touched people—many recognized the seriousness of the boyfriend’s allergy, while also empathizing with the girlfriend’s emotional connection to her cat, Riley. It’s clear that both sides are valid: health concerns should never be dismissed, but neither should the pain of parting with a beloved pet. Most commenters urged compassion over ultimatums and suggested practical compromises, like allergen-free zones or medical support, to protect the relationship without forcing an immediate loss.

At its heart, this story is about the growing pains of sharing a life—where love must stretch to make room for real, sometimes conflicting needs. Navigating such challenges isn’t easy, but with honest conversations, creative problem-solving, and mutual respect, couples can often find a middle ground. After all, true partnership means finding ways to protect each other—without asking one another to give up what they love most.

Ankit

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