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AITA for telling my mom that I either pay or help around the house but that I won’t be doing both?

by Ankit
July 24, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 5 mins read
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After the sudden loss of her father, a 26-year-old woman found herself stepping into a new and uneasy chapter of life. Despite the emotional weight of grief, she agreed to move back home with her mother and younger sister, hoping to provide comfort and support. What began as a gesture of family unity soon became a quiet battle, as she struggled with the imbalanced demands placed upon her in a house where she was expected to shoulder responsibilities far beyond what she had anticipated.

Though she diligently balanced her master’s studies and a full-time job, her once personal sanctuary became a place of exhaustion and resentment. Paying a higher rent for the privacy she desperately needed, she found herself trapped in a cycle of unpaid labor—doing laundry for everyone, cleaning bathrooms multiple times a week, and caring for pets left behind by her late father. In the shadows of loss and obligation, her story reveals the heavy cost of unspoken expectations within a grieving family.

AITA for telling my mom that I either pay or help around the house but that I won’t be doing both?

Featured Image

My (26F) dad pa*sed away last Feb unexpectedly, since my...

to be honest I wasn't that excited about the idea...

She gave me the master room because she didn't want...

I knew she was overcharging me but I didn't cared...

I do my laundry every sunday, clean my room and...

Yet, my mom started to make me do hers and...

I've to clean their bathroom at least 3x per week...

I was okay with this at first until I found...

my mother cleans and cooks for her and her only...

00, I told her that I won't be paying that...

a bathroom and occasionally using the kitchen and I said...

my own just fine. I agreed to keep taking care...

She accused me of "abandoning her" and that my sister...

I want to pay less or stop doing their shit,...

What do you think of this story?





LET’S SEE WHAT REDDIT COMMENTS HAD TO SAY – BECAUSE THIS STORY LEFT EVERYONE STUNNED.

Allys4All NTA. I wouldn't bother negotiating. I think it would...

Avebury1 NTA. You are not their servant. Your mother is...

I would move out and take the pets with you....

And I would not be doing anything around the house...

N_Who If your mother cannot maintain the house on her...

I'm curious if your dad previously took care of all...

I mean, that's the vibe I get. But if that's...

the role seems to include providing her some income and...

Salutational Info: Where is this rent money going? Why wouldn't...

teresajs NTA Just move out. Your Mom needs to figure...

T*tanBarnes Info: does your mom have a job? SifuHallyu: NTA.

Your mother is an a*shole. Stop doing their ch**es.

yankgirl13 Info: did she say why she was raising your...

303xoxo - also very sorry for your loss.: NTA! You...

CarolineSloopJohnB Your family sounds toxic: INFO is $1000 still well...

completely on your own? If you're still getting a good...

However, it doesn't sound like you needed to move back,...

It's hard to go back and live parent/child after you've...

After reading the Reddit comments, it’s clear that many readers sympathize with the original poster’s situation. They acknowledge her willingness to support her mom during a difficult time but also highlight that her mom’s expectations have become unfair and burdensome. Many commenters suggest that while it’s reasonable for the mom to ask for some help around the house, the original poster’s contributions—especially given her full schedule and financial input—should be respected without feeling exploited. The consensus seems to be that open communication and setting clear boundaries are essential to prevent resentment and maintain a healthy family relationship.

In my opinion, this situation underscores the delicate balance between family support and personal boundaries. The original poster has shown commendable patience and responsibility, yet it’s important for her to advocate for herself and ensure her efforts are acknowledged and not taken for granted. It might be beneficial for the family to have a candid conversation about household responsibilities and financial arrangements to create a more equitable living situation. Ultimately, mutual respect and understanding will be key to moving forward in a way that supports everyone’s well-being.

Ankit

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