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AITA for telling a mom she was basically doing her job as a mother wrong?

by Ankit
August 19, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 6 mins read
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At just 23, she found herself adrift, unable to attend university and seeking solace in the quiet routine of an outdoor book club. Among the pages and conversations, she encountered women older than herself—women whose lives seemed so distant yet familiar in their struggles. One afternoon, as they sat on the grass, a raw and painful story unfolded—a mother’s anguished rant about her rebellious seventeen-year-old daughter. It was a glimpse into a fractured bond, where love was entangled with control, and a young girl’s quest for independence was met with harsh punishment.

Mary’s fury over her daughter’s attempt to claim privacy and autonomy was chilling; she stripped away doors and confiscated phones as if to erase her child’s very identity. The mother’s confession of “trying everything” only echoed her desperation, revealing a battle fought with fear and misunderstanding rather than compassion. The sight of a girl punished for wearing miniskirts and short tops, left with only the barest essentials, was a haunting reminder of the silent struggles many endure behind closed doors—where rebellion is not just defiance, but a cry for freedom and respect.

AITA for telling a mom she was basically doing her job as a mother wrong?

Featured Image

Because I can't go to uni anymore, I joined an...

I am 23 and the women in question are in...

Her daughter is 17 as it seems and was being...

that the daughter had apparently bought herself a phone with...

Upon finding out Mary lost it and basically took of...

That she was being difficult since she turned 13 and...

she had all the clothes being taken away and only...

After she was done Mary turned to me and in...

So I told her, "my mom was the same as...

At first she asked me if my mother had died...

Mary started losing it. She said I had no right...

That she was looking for support because she was genuinely...

I also told her to maybe not to treat her...

The other mothers started saying that I would understand when...

So I just stood up and left and don't think...

What do you think of this story?





LET’S SEE WHAT REDDIT COMMENTS HAD TO SAY – BECAUSE THIS STORY LEFT EVERYONE STUNNED.

pudge-thefish NTA she asked your opinion and you gave her...

NoConversation67 NTA.

Shes was just looking for someone to agree with and...

She probably thought she was just 'baring her soul to...

HowardProject NTA - She asked you *directly* - she received...

And found it as embarra*sing as h**l. Her friends defended...

I'm far from the perfect parent,

but I've raised 3 d**n great kids and I completely...

cla*s="comment_author">Reasonable_rac**n: Is there an epidemic of door removal lately? It...

It's insane behaviour. Mary is clearly a terrible person and...

You provided a perspective on reality she hadn't encountered before,...

niccotaglia NTA This "you don't have kids, you don't understand"...

The_unknown_df That's precisely how you make your child stop contacting...

year old has a phone I BOUGHT and that I...

Like if I asked him for it he would give...

katiefrancesx have only used once because he was locked at...

was going to be a cla*sic Y-T-A however she literally...

In addition, you gave an opinion based on experience of...

i-Ake From how she treats her daughter she sounds super...

She asked and you answered. It isn't your fault she...

fmlwhateven She asked you, the "young voice of the group",

as someone who could give insight to her daughter's mentality,...

They have their perspective as parents, and you have yours...

there was no reason for you to "understand" what it's...

Allthatisevil NTA. You're not a mother, but you are a...

I hate the "you don't have kids so you know...

I don't have kids but I do have vivid memories...

just as you have a vivid memory of how it...

Reading through the Reddit comments, it’s clear that many readers sympathize deeply with the daughter’s struggle for autonomy and privacy. Numerous commenters pointed out that Mary’s controlling behavior seems to stem from fear rather than understanding, and that her punitive measures might be pushing her daughter further away instead of fostering trust. People highlighted the importance of open communication in parent-teen relationships and how overly restrictive control often backfires, leading to rebellion or secrecy rather than cooperation.

In my opinion, while Mary’s concerns as a parent are understandable, her approach is counterproductive and damaging to her daughter’s sense of independence and self-worth. It’s crucial for parents to balance safety with respect for their children’s growing need for privacy and decision-making. Hopefully, Mary can find a way to engage with her daughter more empathetically, allowing for dialogue rather than punishment, so their relationship can improve and the daughter can feel supported rather than suffocated.

Ankit

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