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My Older Male Coworkers Love Screaming In Meetings So I Just Unplug And Walk Out

by Ankit
September 10, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 6 mins read
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In a world where conformity often feels like a prerequisite for belonging, she stands out—young, female, openly lesbian, and navigating the corridors of an old-school engineering company dominated by older men with entirely different lives. Each day at work is a quiet battle, a test of resilience against a culture that thrives on intensity, heated debates, and a harsh initiation ritual that leaves many broken.

Amidst raised voices and the pressure to conform, she remains a calm island, refusing to be drawn into the storm of conflict. Her presence challenges the status quo, but beneath the surface, a quiet determination fuels her—she’s not here to break but to endure, waiting patiently for the moment when she can walk away and find a place where she truly belongs.

AITA for leaving my own work meetings if people can’t control their tempers?

I work at a engineering company, on a software team,...

I'm 22, a woman, an out lesbian, don't know the...

It kind of sucks, I'm interviewing for other jobs currently,...

A lot of my coworkers can get pretty heated about...

Like raised voices, even yelling about disagreements. I know two...

No wonder the company can't retain anyone but the lifers....

it really sucks when I call a design review or...

(I don't engage, I stay dead calm and it's real...

) And it really REALLY sucks when I try to...

I can't really chill the conversation out because they'll just...

H**l, some of my coworkers once showed up to a...

So when that stuff starts happening, I've gotten in the...

Then sending an email from my desk along the lines...

as we were unable to finish today after the meeting...

I hope that when we reconvene (we will be able...

- OP It's been a lot better for me mentally;...

And, sometimes a takes a few tries, but it works....

But it's also caused some issues, I can tell the...

And its also delayed some work getting done; as there's...

Some of my coworkers are getting really frustrated with me,...

Especially if rescheduling is delaying something they need. AITA for...

What do you think of this story?





THIS STORY SHOOK THE INTERNET – AND REDDITORS DIDN’T HOLD BACK.

Petrichor_Candles NTA. Honestly, that sounds like a nightmare and you...

Virulencer I guess you can't report the people who constantly...

Honestly, it sounds like this team desperately needs you to...

You might be the only person capable of doing it...

However, it isn't your job to manage a bunch of...

>

ThowinItAllAwayAgain don't know the first thing about kids I would...

engineer and been in many of these kinds of meetings....

You next step is to take control of the next...

and End-In-mind - Clearly state the parameters and rules of...

persePH**eth NTA How is this company still in business if...

NomNom83WasTaken through a meeting?: NTA This is so bada*s, I...

I am heartily rooting for you to get out of...

deep down, I kinda love that until you leave, you're...

Halfcanine2000 NTA. They are wasting your time by acting this...

b**t5000 NTA - what's HR think about this toxic environment?

SnoopDrug YTA for sure. And just a gentle reminder that...

easpecially given that you description of the situation is likely...

Your s*xuality, gender, marital status etc have nothing to with...

__LiBERTiNE__ You're a 22 year old newby at a company...

You found yourself in a rather shitty unproductive situation and...

leads the team back to the productivity path - that's...

However it might come off as pa*sive aggressive and since...

cricket73646 ESH. They suck, but you are delaying things from...

If you have an issue, talk to HR.

After reading through the Reddit comments, it’s clear that many people empathize with the user’s situation. The dynamic described—a traditionally male-dominated, high-pressure engineering environment with aggressive communication styles—can be incredibly challenging for someone who doesn’t fit the typical mold, especially a young woman and out lesbian trying to establish herself. Many commenters advised prioritizing mental health and seeking workplaces with more inclusive cultures where collaboration and respect are the norm rather than confrontation.

In my opinion, the user’s approach of staying calm and not engaging in the heated arguments is a smart strategy to maintain professionalism and avoid unnecessary conflict. However, it’s concerning that such a toxic environment persists and that the company culture seems resistant to change. It’s encouraging to hear the user is exploring other opportunities and planning to leave once their 401k vests—finding a workplace that values diversity and fosters supportive team dynamics can make all the difference in both job satisfaction and career growth.

Ankit

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