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Ex-Wife Ruined Our Daughter’s Hair With Chemicals So I Cut It Short And She Is Fuming

by Ankit
September 22, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 6 mins read
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In the quiet turmoil of a fractured family, a young woman uncovers a painful betrayal that shatters her trust and shakes the foundations of her closest relationships. Her mother’s secret, hidden behind excuses and half-truths, becomes a haunting presence that forces her to confront not only deceit but the painful choice between loyalty and honesty.

As the lies unravel, the young woman is faced with a heart-wrenching ultimatum that tests the bonds of love and family. In the shadow of broken promises and fractured trust, she must navigate a path fraught with emotional pain, where every choice carries the weight of loss and the hope for redemption.

AITA for refusing to hug my cheating mum?

Throwaway For ease, I refer to my daughter as Gem....

Since she started middle school, she has begged me and...

I said no because Gem has never had harsh chemicals...

Last weekend, my ex put a lye-based relaxer into our...

As a result, she screwed up and Gem's hair was...

Our beautician examined Gem's hair and advised that it was...

After it was done, Gem was happy and quite ecstatic...

She yelled at me that I had no right to...

I fired back she had no right to yell at...

to do a relaxer. To cut a very long story...

So what am I Reddit? https: //therighthairstyles.com/short-natural-haircuts-for-black-women/5/ Edit: Based off...

My ex knows how to do black hair to a...

I was not told that Gem's hair was going to...

I'm not opposed to her hair getting straightened, I just...

especially since the only reason she wanted her hair straight...

Because I have seen this comment come up multiple times....

Gem sent me a Snapchat and then called me crying,...

She didn't even go to school on Monday, because the...

What do you think of this story?





THE COMMENTS SECTION WENT WILD – REDDIT HAD *A LOT* TO SAY ABOUT THIS ONE.

fizzy_lime NTA. 4B hair is delicate and should only be...

Your ex did a home treatment that ruined your daughter's...

As long as Gem liked the haircut, that's what matters.

singing_softly NTA Your ex didn't know what she was doing...

She's 12 now, she's going to start getting more sensitive...

It's also good that you're letting her damaged hair grow...

jessie_monster NTA Your ex has some pretty toxic ideas about...

not to mention the 'good hair' of it all.

jenjen96 NTA if you need permission to get her hair...

nocturnalis Especially one that damaged her hair beyond repair.: NTA.

I don't want to be get racial, but she should...

gaymerkrazed NTA- if you're daughter's hair was falling out by...

Your wife should have seen a professional. There is a...

erinsaysytho and it sounds like your ex just tried to...

you're both arguing with each other about who did what...

she is old enough to make decisions about her hair....

hair length, kitchen, and edges with as little heat and...

the_fourth_child what type: NTA so she has the right to...

can't help the situation without hers? Some women think they...

EDIT: that haircut looks amazing I bet your daughter looks...

KatJen76 NTA your ex didn't check with you about the...

It's wicked short now, but I'm sure it looks much...

anarchyreigns NTA. Did she ask your permission when she tried...

Why would you ask permission when you took your daughter...

Reading through the Reddit comments, it’s clear that many feel the OP is right to view her mother’s actions as a betrayal, even if no physical cheating occurred. The emotional and intimate nature of the messages, combined with the secrecy and broken promises, understandably caused a lot of hurt and distrust. Many commenters sympathize with the OP’s struggle, recognizing that boundaries in relationships are deeply personal and that what counts as cheating varies, but secrecy and dishonesty often make it worse.

In my opinion, while the mother’s claim that it wasn’t physical might be true, the emotional infidelity has already damaged the trust within the family. The fact that she prioritizes her secret communication over her daughter’s relationship suggests a serious disconnect that needs to be addressed honestly. Ultimately, healing will require transparency, respect, and possibly professional help if the family wants to move forward.

Ankit

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