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AITA for telling my mom to stop trying to make me like her?

by Ankit
September 22, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 6 mins read
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A teenage girl watches her mother’s stories unfold—a lonely childhood painted with the brushstrokes of being misunderstood and labeled “weird.” Yet beneath the nostalgia lies a deeper truth: a mother fiercely determined to reject traditional femininity, embracing an identity that distances her from her own gender and the connections that come with it.

Caught between love and silent judgment, the daughter feels the weight of her mother’s unspoken expectations. As her mother pushes her toward a similar path of rejecting girlishness in favor of “being one of the guys,” the girl wonders if the loneliness her mother once endured might be a choice, not just a fate.

AITA for telling my mom to stop trying to make me like her?

Obligatory "sorry I'm on mobile so sorry for formatting" So...

She likes to tell me stories from when she was...

When she was growing up, she claims she was a...

However, my mom is 100{39ca6eb452c0ce4419cd73a8f3bd18a23fe95ab4febb092bc2ab1b542eeea82f} a "I'm not like other...

She prides herself in being "one of the guys", that...

Not to invalidate what may or may not have happened...

Obviously I never let her know what I think, because...

she began trying to manifest this personality into me, constantly...

She also says phrases to me such as, "I bet...

For a while, I actually believed her. This inhibited me...

Here's the thing though; after re evaluating myself I discovered...

I love supporting other girls, I'm very social and friendly,...

Personally, I think that the "I'm not like other girls"...

She tried pushing the statements into me again on a...

I finally said, "would you please stop suggesting that I...

I like being feminine and I like being like other...

She was quiet for the rest of that night and...

What do you think of this story?





THE COMMENTS SECTION WENT WILD – REDDIT HAD *A LOT* TO SAY ABOUT THIS ONE.

swingmadacrossthesun NTA. Good for you for ending the cycle of...

It's very mature of you to have gone through that...

SomeoneWhoLikesBirds NTA. It needed to be said.

Clearly shes projecting on you way too hard and she...

mychickenmyrules543 NTA for your response.

I do think you should ask your mom why she...

because women who act like this tend to come from...

fragility, and it's really sad. Let your mom know that...

petta_reddast NTA. My mother struggled with internalised misogyny as well,...

She didn't just dislike feminity, she straight out mocked it....

lck12 She would also complain about women being catty and...

She's clearly lonely and wants you to be like her...

cla*s="comment_author">pilidod8834: NTA. Parents can project onto their children alot.

This can take form in attempting to make their child...

It's important to be firm with things like this. She...

quixoticidea NTA. Good on you for expressing yourself the way...

thecatalyst08 NTA in the slightest! You can be who you...

Some parents do tend to push their personalities onto their...

You are your own person, separate from your mother, and...

I hope you can find peace,

miladyelle both with yourself and your mother: NTA-ever heard the...

Your mom is shook because you just taught her something...

supermeg77 NTA.

Your mom has a lot of internalized shit she should...

I honestly feel sympathy for your mother, my friendships with...

She has missed out on a lot.

After reading through the Reddit comments, it’s clear that many users empathize with the daughter’s perspective, recognizing the complicated dynamic between her and her mom. Commenters often mention how the mom’s “I’m not like other girls” attitude might stem from her own insecurities and past loneliness, which then translated into her pushing that same mindset onto her daughter. Many suggest that while the mom’s intentions may have been to protect or help her daughter avoid similar isolation, it ultimately created pressure and confusion about identity.

In my opinion, this story highlights the importance of embracing individuality without forcing someone into a narrow definition of what they should be. The mom’s experiences shaped her worldview, but it’s essential for the daughter to carve out her own sense of self, free from imposed labels or expectations. Open communication and mutual understanding could help bridge their gap, allowing the daughter to appreciate her mom’s past while confidently exploring who she wants to be.

Ankit

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