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AITA for not accepting food as a payment towards personal debt?

by Ankit
September 23, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 7 mins read
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In the quiet struggle of building a home together, a young couple’s dream of independence is tested by the unspoken weight of financial strain and blurred boundaries. Their decision to help a family member, born from love and trust, begins to unravel under the pressure of unpaid debts and unmet expectations, threatening the fragile harmony they fought so hard to create.

As the months pass, the burden of covering more than their fair share of expenses turns into a silent battle of resentment and sacrifice. In the shadows of their new beginning, the couple grapples with the painful realization that sometimes, the ones closest to us can challenge the very foundation of our unity and dreams.

AITA for not accepting food as a payment towards personal debt?

My husband is the one who wanted me to post...

my brother (22M) was looking to move as well, and...

Since moving in together, my wife and i have paid...

we agreed to pay to the move in fees and...

we ended up paying the FULL rent for him, which...

so we let it slide. but then, he came to...

we had the money for it, and didn't want to...

so we agreed to pay it but he has to...

he's paid his side of the rent since then, but...

we've paid for that 100{39ca6eb452c0ce4419cd73a8f3bd18a23fe95ab4febb092bc2ab1b542eeea82f}. the only payment he's made...

and we decided to count that as his contribution towards...

today while playing video games, he brought up that he...

i mentioned the fact that he hasn't been paying us...

not video games. his excuse was that he's bought my...

it was never agreed upon before hand 2. he OFFERS...

as i said before, we buy ALL the groceries which...

food does not count as payments towards bills or towards...

i said that's fine, i'd rather him pay his bills....

i can't really send a burger to the light company...

when my wife and i were originally looking for places...

Since my brother didn't want to live alone we agreed...

we told him straight up that we wouldn't be able...

and my wife makes her contribution by doing nearly all...

mostly cause i feel like not only my replies but...

the major consensus seems to be NTA but that we...

possibly even make these sit down discussions a regular occurrence....

my wife and i are gonna plan on not continuing...

but for now we will find time to sit down...

to those of you bashing mine and my wife's decision...

it works for us currently, we're all happy with it,...

we love our son and love having him in our...

What do you think of this story?





HERE’S HOW REDDIT BLEW UP AFTER HEARING THIS – PEOPLE COULDN’T BELIEVE IT.

Urbanyeti0 NTA,

but you need to all go away and decide what...

phantom_67 about it. Then write up what you all agree...

But why is he paying a full half? Do you...

sminthos Or is that split three ways: ESH. I think...

) for three people is unreasonable. Now,

he definitely needs to pay you his share of the...

Nachofresh86 and I don't think that buying dinner every once...

He should be paying 1/3 at the most. You should...

3 of you in one room expect to pay 50{39ca6eb452c0ce4419cd73a8f3bd18a23fe95ab4febb092bc2ab1b542eeea82f}...

50{39ca6eb452c0ce4419cd73a8f3bd18a23fe95ab4febb092bc2ab1b542eeea82f}? H**l no.

He should be keeping up on his portion of payments...

Make a proper split and kick him out or move...

LemonZest2 You aren't his mother and parents. Stop treating him...

First of all. Is there a reason why he isn't...

ThatThreesome ESH. You both are feeling shafted & rightfully so.

You failed to mention in the post YOU HAVE A...

Why is he paying 50/50 when you will have FOUR...

the 3 of them will be constantly around using the...

jkell2000 why are you upset he hasn't contributed to utilities...

out over time and shouldn't count for the debt. The...

Does he have the money?

One thing that had me close to E S H...

vimse85 ESH - Splitting everything 50/50 when you guys are...

You guys naturally use more of everything than he does,...

But he should pay you back his fair share of...

LittleHognose INFO: Where the h**l are you living that internet...

winterpomsky NTA its kinda weird how your brother is so...

After reading through the Reddit comments, it’s clear that many people sympathize with the husband and wife for carrying the financial burden without clear communication from the brother. Most commenters agree that while helping family is admirable, it’s important to set firm boundaries and expectations early on to avoid resentment and financial strain. The consensus seems to be that the brother should have contributed fairly or at least communicated his struggles upfront rather than expecting others to cover his share indefinitely.

In my opinion, this situation highlights the importance of open and honest conversations about money, especially when living arrangements involve family members. While generosity is commendable, it shouldn’t come at the expense of fairness or financial stability. Hopefully, the husband, wife, and brother can have a candid talk about responsibilities and find a solution that works for everyone moving forward.

Ankit

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