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AITA for refusing to use a “trading” system in my own home?

by Ankit
September 23, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 6 mins read
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In a home where love should be unconditional, a young teenager finds herself trapped under the iron grip of her older brother, who wields control through a cruel game of monopoly money. Every essential, from toothpaste to snacks, is rationed and bartered, turning everyday survival into a humiliating transaction that chips away at her dignity and sense of belonging.

Beneath the surface of this twisted economy lies a deeper pain: a mother silently bearing the weight of their needs with her retirement fund, while the brother’s sparse contributions mask a suffocating dominance. The teenager’s quiet desperation grows, her cries for fairness drowned by the cold calculus of control, leaving her isolated and stripped of the simple comforts that should be her right.

AITA for refusing to use a “trading” system in my own home?

I'm [17] living with my [23] brother and my [45]...

He's extremely cheap with his money and requires us to...

This includes, paper plates, paper towels, toilet paper, toothpaste, snacks,...

My brother works and contributes to about 5{39ca6eb452c0ce4419cd73a8f3bd18a23fe95ab4febb092bc2ab1b542eeea82f} of the...

my mom supporting us with the other 95{39ca6eb452c0ce4419cd73a8f3bd18a23fe95ab4febb092bc2ab1b542eeea82f} from her...

He justifies him buying a couple items means he gets...

I feel absolutely demeaned when I need to keep track...

so I often run out of money and need to...

my mom is just frugal, nowhere to the extent of...

but she buys anything we need and we have everything...

So earlier today I ran out of toothpaste so I...

(we've had this same game for 5 years so the...

I told him he's being a complete a*shole and he...

My mom has this kind of keep the peace viewpoint...

because my brother waits for our mom to get back...

She's upset that we're fighting and has kindly asked if...

Am I the a*shole here?

What do you think of this story?





AFTER THIS STORY DROPPED, REDDIT WENT INTO MELTDOWN MODE – CHECK OUT WHAT PEOPLE SAID.

canttaketheshyfromme NTA, your brother is an a**ser and I wouldn't...

UniqueRooster NTA,

the over controlling system aside refusing money because it's ripped...

ca_agent NTA - This is literally abusive and controlling to...

Tell him to f**k off and get whatever you want...

StuTheSheep NTA. Your brother is a d**k,

and your mother's avoidance of confrontation in the face of...

​ Are you still in high school? I suggest telling...

spookygirl1 :- >

she's upset that we're fighting and **has kindly asked if...

It's extreme and weird and is making life miserable for...

You would be completely justified in calling CPS and letting...

bluehills29 NTA. This system is abusive.

Suggest to your mother that she give you an allowance...

artificialn0cturne She and your brother can keep playing this game...

I cannot stress enough that this level of control is...

Even then you should not have to ask for permission...

I'm not really sure if this would help since there...

TheNonDuality serious conversation on why this ne: NTA. He takes...

rp2865 NTA.

Your mom should step in to stop your young-adult brother...

unless of course there's some other reason that kind of...

burning through toilet paper a bit quickly for nosebleeds doesn't...

chessie_h and caring about the money's condition is ridiculous anyway).:...

So basically your mom has an abusive husband except it's...

I'm making a big a*sumption here,

but it sounds like your brother was taught to behave...

She's extremely submissive to what is outright and extreme controlling,...

Reading through the Reddit comments, it’s clear many sympathize with the frustration and emotional toll the OP is experiencing. Most commenters agree that the brother’s behavior is controlling and unfair, especially given his minimal financial contribution compared to their mother. Many suggest the OP and their mother should have a serious conversation with him or consider seeking outside help to address the unhealthy dynamic and reclaim a sense of dignity and fairness in the household.

In my opinion, while some may argue the brother is trying to manage resources, his approach crosses the line into micromanagement and emotional manipulation. A home should be a place of support and respect, not a place where basic necessities come with strings attached. It’s important for the family to find a more equitable and compassionate way to handle finances and household goods so that everyone feels valued and comfortable.

Ankit

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