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AITA for refusing to lie to my kids for my ex?

by Ankit
September 24, 2025
in Relationships
Reading Time: 6 mins read
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Beneath the fragile surface of a broken family lies a father’s quiet strength, grappling with betrayal and the haunting shadows of infidelity that shattered his marriage. His world was irrevocably altered when the truth emerged—the woman he once loved had been unfaithful long before their children were born, forcing him to seek certainty through a DNA test and confront the painful reality that his family would never be the same.

Now, caught in the crossfire of fractured loyalties, he faces the heartache of his children wrestling with the bitter words of a grandmother’s accusations, a cruel narrative painting their mother and her new husband as villains. Despite the turmoil, he strives to shield his children from hatred, offering them love and understanding in a world where trust has been broken but hope for peace remains.

AITA for refusing to lie to my kids for my ex?

My ex (31f) and I (30m) have two kids together...

They had been "together" since before our first child was...

That was confirmed. And once that was confirmed and we...

This means the children spend 50{39ca6eb452c0ce4419cd73a8f3bd18a23fe95ab4febb092bc2ab1b542eeea82f} of the time at...

In June of this year my kids told me that...

her husband) hate me. I didn't lie to the kids...

But I did talk to them and a*sured them they...

The kids have brought it up to my ex repeatedly...

The kids didn't have the greatest relationship with him before...

My ex was furious with her mom when she realized...

Now they she knows what happened she has been telling...

I refused and she said I'm a failure as a...

ruining their family and that I should love our kids...

I said I won't lie and that I have already...

What do you think of this story?





THE COMMENTS SECTION WENT WILD – REDDIT HAD *A LOT* TO SAY ABOUT THIS ONE.

charmer143 NTA. You didn't tell the kids yourself,

and you did make it clear that you don't want...

They can form their own opinions and determine what's right...

SDstartingOut Your ex just has to accept that her actions...

NTA; let's face it, the kids are 10 & 9,...

they would be old enough to realize "dad's lying to...

you only confirmed to the truth to your children. You...

prodrvr22 and your ex is an a*shole for thinking you...

she said I'm a failure as a parent, I'm hurting...

You didn't cheat, you didn't ruin the family, you didn't...

fiestafan73 And she needs to own up to it.: Your...

She's guilty of everything she accused you of. Frankly her...

You did the right thing by not dragging your kids...

The cat is out of the bag, and you attempting...

angry-always80 Nta here is the thing about secrets they always...

Your kids respect and trust you enough to not lie...

If you do your ex's bidding and lie the kids...

Not to make them reconcile with mom but to let...

Remote-Pa*senger7880 In a short amount of time they lost the...

Don't lie to your children and risk your relationship with...

>now they don't want to spend time with him and...

Is it possible that them saying he's mean has nothing...

Having-hope3594 NTA because your kids would figure out sooner or...

ex wants. You did not make that revelation, their grandmother...

But your kids need to know they have a parent...

katg913 Also, if you don't make a big issue of...

But if your ex is using the mistreatment card, you...

TaisharMalkier69 Lol.... Didn't your ex love her affair partner more...

Isn't that why she broke up their family? Isn't she...

Isn't that why they have a broken sense of what...

Jerseygirl2468 NTA She's the one who cheated, and her mother...

how is any of this your fault?

Reading through the Reddit comments, many users expressed sympathy for the father’s situation, acknowledging the emotional complexity of co-parenting after infidelity and the impact it has on the children. Some commenters emphasized the importance of maintaining a neutral environment for the kids and avoiding negativity about the other parent in front of them. Others suggested continuing open communication and possibly involving a family therapist to help the children process their feelings and the family dynamics.

In my opinion, this situation highlights the challenges of blended families and the delicate balance required to support children through parental separation and remarriage. While the father’s honesty is commendable, it’s crucial to foster an atmosphere where the children feel safe and loved by all parties. Moving forward, focusing on the kids’ emotional well-being and reinforcing that they are not responsible for adult conflicts can help mitigate the tension and promote healthier relationships.

Ankit

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