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AITA for telling someone I never desired a daughter and didn’t “try for a girl”?

by Ankit
September 24, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 5 mins read
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In a quiet moment at the park, a father’s pride in his four sons—two biological and two adopted—was met with an unexpected sting. His love for his boys was unwavering, a testament to the family they had chosen together, yet a stranger’s pity cast a shadow over that joy, as if his sons were anything less than perfect.

The words spoken in passing cut deeper than intended, touching on the delicate balance of identity, acceptance, and love. For these boys, already navigating the complexities of adoption, to be seen as a source of sorrow instead of celebration was a wound their father refused to accept silently.

AITA for telling someone I never desired a daughter and didn’t “try for a girl”?

Weird question but I have 4 sons. They are 14,...

I was at the park over the weekend with my...

I wanted a girl too but he (pointing to her...

" I told her that I didn't try for a...

I had no strong desire for a girl and love...

" Like my boys aren't good enough for me and...

They shouldn't have to feel bad about their gender too,...

I spoke to my SIL about it and she also...

She said people will tell her that her son is...

Reporting me for concern of self harm is crazy.

What do you think of this story?





AFTER THIS STORY DROPPED, REDDIT WENT INTO MELTDOWN MODE – CHECK OUT WHAT PEOPLE SAID.

Clean_Permit_3791 " right in front of us, they even say...

It always stung a little like why wouldn't he want...

and it still drives him mad and he used to...

Aftran_942 feel better and confident.: NTA, that was weird and...

It feels like she's relying on a gendered stereotype that...

labor or work around your needs, where as boys can...

Heraonolympia123 Whereas the reality is that kids of all ages...

having a baby? When are you having a 2nd? Will...

Do you think you should have a 4th as they...

Oh gosh, I bet you wish you'd stopped at 2?...

SamFle a woman's reproduction (or family situation) is open season...

the AH.

It rubbed you the wrong way when she said "poor...

that you are too stupid to realise it. Your SIL...

Blue_wine_sloth " but that is not what happened here, someone...

serioushobbit she only accused you of being rude because she...

You did the right thing by sticking up for your...

and maybe not. As for your sister-in-law,

I definitely wouldn't get angry with someone who told me...

hiseoh8 because that would make it sound as if feminine...

My dad is one of 11 boys. (#4). People used...

I mean the brothers were notorious lol. But they were...

ninja_heart One day my one uncle had enough and said...

Regular_Boot_3540 NTA - I hate it when people gatekeep gender...

Unless you cleaned up your response a lot, it doesn't...

I doubt they'll be impacted by what some random stranger...

lyan-cat NTA. My daughter is my youngest and I always...

F**k no. Even if I was, it's not appropriate to...

And yes, it is intended to make a certain point...

Reading through the Reddit comments, it’s clear many people empathize with the original poster’s feelings. Numerous users pointed out how dismissive and insensitive the other woman’s comment was, especially in front of the children. The consensus is that every family is unique, and love isn’t determined by gender or biology. Many applauded the poster for standing up for her sons and highlighting how adoption and family dynamics deserve respect rather than pity.

From an outsider’s perspective, this story underscores the importance of mindful language when discussing family and children. Assuming someone’s family situation is “poor” based on gender or circumstances can be hurtful and invalidating. It’s a reminder that what truly matters is the love and care within the family, not societal expectations or preferences. The poster’s stance serves as a strong message against stereotyping and emphasizes celebrating all kinds of family compositions.

Ankit

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