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My Daughter Demanded Her College Fund For a Down Payment And Threatened Me When I Said No

by Ankit
September 24, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 7 mins read
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A mother’s heart carries the weight of dreams and disappointments as she watches her eldest daughter choose a path far from the one she had hoped. Years of quiet sacrifice went into building a future for each child, a future paved with education and opportunity, yet El’s decision to drop out and start a family at sixteen shattered those hopes in silence. Despite the pain, there is an unspoken understanding — love intertwined with reality, as the family navigates the fragile balance between support and independence.

In the shadows of financial struggles and uncertain tomorrows, the mother still clings to hope for the younger children. Katie’s acceptance into college shines like a beacon, a testament to the sacrifices made and the possibilities that remain. Yet beneath it all lies the tension of a family stretched thin, grappling with the consequences of choices and the enduring desire to lift each child toward a better life, even when the path is far from straight.

AITA for not letting my daughter use her college fund for a wedding or house?

Backstory: I (43f) have 4 kids. El (22f) Katie (17f)...

Me and my husband (50m) started adding to college funds...

I won't say the exact amount but my husband has...

El got pregnant when she was 16 and ended up...

However I was under the impression she would return later,...

They are engaged but don't plan to marry until they...

They were doing okay financially for a while but due...

money. Katie is a senior and just got accepted into...

Katie and El were talking and she was telling El...

Katie responded "my college fund" I was in the room...

We had just planned on splitting it between the remaining...

She got really excited and went to call her fiance...

She got upset and left my house. The next day...

she was crying and begging me to let her have...

I told her she could have the money if she...

She got super mad and started yelling at me and...

Now we are being hara*sed by her fiances family (they...

Saying it's all gonna go to waste if she doesn't...

Now I'm wondering if I'm the a*shole because my dad...

UPDATE: ( I think this is within the rules, please...

She will be getting her GED and will be going...

She hasn't decided which one yet, but it will probably...

What do you think of this story?





AFTER THIS STORY DROPPED, REDDIT WENT INTO MELTDOWN MODE – CHECK OUT WHAT PEOPLE SAID.

LoveBeach8 NTA I'm going to be downvoted a million times...

You put money into a college fund for each kid....

It's a generous fund and not everyone is able to...

prairieislander Just because she was unaware of the college fund...

Should she feel automatically ent*tled to the money? No. But...

You speak dismissively about the committed man who's stuck by...

You speak as if she's less than because of a...

StAlvis INFO >

We had just planned on splitting it between the remaining...

You **_know_** that your 5yo and *unborn future maybe-kid* are...

FoolMe1nceShameOnU **NTA** It is not "her money" - it never...

It was money set aside to fund an education for...

) is the best possible thing that she could do...

Odd_Trifle_2604 NTA a GED is affordable and doable. She's choosing...

She doesn't need a wedding, she needs a reality check.

If she was putting forth minimal effort to better her...

A fancy party does nothing to feed and clothe her...

Aiyokusama EDITED: In light of the OPs educational snobbery, you...

Choices have consequences. And you were specific about what it...

evieeeeeeeeeeeeeee NTA,

this may not be the popular opinion but a college...

opportunity to earn it,

if you pay for your daughter to buy a house...

the money for any reason the people b**ting their nose...

cla*s="comment_author">cekay3: INFO Is the reason your kid never went back...

JessicaFreakingP with childcare etc.? I don't understand why she never...

Maybe she didn't think going to school was an option...

You withheld information from her that could have influenced her...

**Edit: ** Anyone commenting "but El is an AH now...

cla*s="comment_author">tatasz: NTA Your money, you use it as you please.

I may be downvoted to h**l, but I don't think...

Well, first one was an accident, but the second one?...

at this point, the vast majority of the jobs require...

After reading through the Reddit comments, it’s clear that many people sympathize with the mother’s intentions to secure her children’s futures by saving for their college funds. Most agree that the daughter’s decision to drop out of school complicates the situation, especially since she has no plans to return to education and is now financially dependent on her parents. The ongoing financial support is seen by some as necessary but also potentially enabling, raising questions about boundaries and the importance of encouraging personal responsibility.

In my opinion, while the mother’s efforts to save for her children’s education are commendable, it’s important to have open conversations about these plans with the kids. Transparency might motivate them to take advantage of the opportunities provided. For El, considering alternative education paths or job training could help her become more independent. Balancing support with encouragement for self-sufficiency is crucial as the family navigates these challenges.

Ankit

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