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My Dad Calls Me ‘The Thing’ To My Face So I Refused To Keep Helping Him

by Ankit
September 24, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 6 mins read
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In the quiet battle of aging, a daughter stands at the crossroads of love and pain, watching her once strong parents crumble under the weight of years and illness. Her father, gripped by the cruel grip of dementia and diabetes, lashes out with words sharper than any wound, turning his anger into a storm that threatens to drown the fragile bond they share.

She faces not only his fierce resistance but the heartbreaking cruelty of being reduced to a hurtful epithet, a painful reminder of how deeply illness can distort even the closest relationships. Amid the chaos of fear and frustration, she fights for their safety and dignity, carrying the heavy burden of care with a heart full of sorrow and unwavering resolve.

AITA for refusing to be the main caretaker for my elderly parents?

My parents are both in their 80s and live about...

Neither of them have aged well- they always refused to...

My father especially has struggled with type 2 diabetes and...

which is how he has always been, but dementia and...

He directs a lot of his anger towards me and...

Anytime he disagrees with me about anything he starts screaming...

" "The thing" hurts especially hard because I am his...

He will say " don't look at the thing over...

He does this when he is completely lucid and remembering...

I tried so hard to ignore this treatment, but once...

My mother now wants me to come to her 3+...

i have said no because the way he treats me...

She says I take things too personally and I am...

UPDATE: Thank you all so much for your feedback, advice...

I do want to also add that while my father...

my father just has less restraint in his old age.

What do you think of this story?





AFTER THIS STORY DROPPED, REDDIT WENT INTO MELTDOWN MODE – CHECK OUT WHAT PEOPLE SAID.

Fit-B*mblebee-6420 And the sibling down the road is male? I'm...

You don't have to put up with meanness to be...

Harry_Smutter If not, don't argue just keep referring her back...

Your sibling can help. I hate people who pull the...

SunshineShoulders87 NTA- there are consequences to actions and these are...

He's not nit-picking your cooking, he's being incredibly hurtful and...

jstbecauseuknow Let him terrorize people who are at least paid...

mis_1022 No I don't think children are obligated to their...

You should make sure they are not dest*tute but you...

I would be clear with your mom that you will...

RazzmatazzOk2129 NTA You don't need to out up with a**se.

Just flat out remind everyone it's abusive language and mental...

Of course not. You were adopted as a daughter, not...

SL8Rgirl They didn't save you, they wanted a daughter and...

You have a responsibility to your own children and mental...

You do not have to participate in your own a**se...

crying4what The sibling being male, does not excuse him from...

My brother took care of both our parents since I...

And when they pa*sed, I signed my half of the...

BryonyVaughn Let me tighten up your post.

"Am I the a-hole for refusing to sacrifice my life...

Gnarly_314 NTA. I have had to deal with my mother...

Nobody else was allowed to take her shopping, medical appointments,...

She ended up staying in hospital overnight after a minor...

The best thing we ever did was put my mother...

After reading through the Reddit comments, it’s clear that many people empathize deeply with the original poster’s difficult situation. Caring for elderly parents with serious health issues like dementia and diabetes is incredibly challenging, especially when those parents are resistant to help and lash out verbally. Commenters often stress the importance of setting boundaries for one’s own mental health while still striving to provide compassionate care. It seems there’s a shared understanding that the father’s harsh words are a manifestation of his illness rather than a reflection of the daughter’s worth.

In my opinion, this story highlights the complex dynamics of elder caregiving, especially when family members are geographically dispersed and have different levels of involvement. While the daughter’s desire to move her parents into assisted living is driven by safety concerns, the emotional toll of rejection and verbal abuse cannot be overlooked. Ultimately, it’s a heartbreaking balance between protecting the parents’ dignity and ensuring their well-being, and it calls for patience, support, and sometimes professional guidance to navigate these painful family challenges.

Ankit

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