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AITA for telling my daughter the real reason I don’t allow her to refer to me as ‘mum’?

by Ankit
September 24, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 6 mins read
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A weary mother, worn down by the long hours of driving and the weight of unspoken feelings, faces a poignant moment with her daughter. The question about why she isn’t called “mum” pierces through the exhaustion, forcing her to confront the truth she has carefully hidden for years—a truth born from a reluctant choice, not from a place of love at first sight.

In that quiet car, amidst the hum of the road, a fragile vulnerability unfolds as she reveals her initial doubts and the slow, surprising blossoming of love for her children. It is a raw, emotional reckoning—one that speaks to the complexity of motherhood, the struggle of acceptance, and the unexpected depths of a heart that learns to love beyond its own fears.

AITA for telling my daughter the real reason I don’t allow her to refer to me as ‘mum’?

Whilst I am unfamiliar with this app, my partner is...

), whilst touring across the country I was stuck driving...

popped the question as to why I don't allow her...

Usually in this situation (not the first time she asked)...

but this time she continued to push for the real...

For context I have never wanted children, being in my...

I never held a deep affection for them at first...

Continuing on, I told my daughter that I never wished...

I didn't think much of this as I was tired...

she only replied along the lines of "so that's the...

however later broke down after her dad joked about how...

I admit, I did discuss I wanted him and I...

(before the birth of my daughter he was reluctant but...

daughter. She began to spiral and overreact, asking why I...

Then began to say how she wants the intimacy of...

We have never had a problem of how she calls...

She has yet to calm down and is still fairly...

It's been a few days and there remains a lot...

I love my children and I make an effort to...

What do you think of this story?





AFTER THIS STORY DROPPED, REDDIT WENT INTO MELTDOWN MODE – CHECK OUT WHAT PEOPLE SAID.

ProfPlumDidIt YTA. "I never wanted you,

only had you to keep my partner, and I may...

" How would you possibly NOT be the a*shole for...

CoffeeBooksCookies Being tired often results in saying stuff without thinking...

But let's look at this one. You think there's never...

Did you ever consider that she's asked multiple times because...

rapt2right Because friends and cla*smates have asked her why she...

given in and had children if you feel like that...

Not allowing them to call their parents "mum and dad"...

Telling your daughter that it is because you don't actually...

Excellent_Squirrel86 YTA. WTF is wrong with you? You just told...

Some day you will be one of those people whining...

jdnddjdhdb YTA alternative t*tle "i told my child i never...

carsonmccrullers now they're sad" what did you think would happen:...

Forcing your child to call you by your first name...

Neko_09 You're "tied down to the lifestyle of it" whether...

GondolaQueen how cold hearted can you be to your own...

minicooperlove She can call me mum instead.: YTA.

​ >I love my children and I make an effort...

It seems to me you use this as a way...

MelonSegment and it seems like an easy thing to just...

this can't be real. Nobody's this much of an AH...

If it *is* real, then YTA, obviously - and not...

But I'd betcha an imaginary Internet dollar this is yet...

people really do do things like this and this post...

Reading through the Reddit comments, many users expressed empathy for the original poster’s honesty and vulnerability in sharing such a personal story. It’s clear that the initial ambivalence about parenthood is something many can relate to, especially when societal expectations about maternal affection are so rigid. Commenters appreciated the growth in the relationship and the eventual acceptance and love that developed over time, recognizing that love doesn’t always start as instinct but can grow through shared experiences and understanding.

From my perspective, this story highlights the complexity of family dynamics and how labels, like “mum,” carry emotional weight beyond just a name. It’s a reminder that parenting is not always about instant bonding but about the gradual building of connection and trust. The author’s candidness about their journey invites a more compassionate dialogue about what it means to be a parent and how love can evolve in unexpected ways.

Ankit

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