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AITA for refusing to teach Spanish to my wife “her way”?

by Ankit
September 26, 2025
in Relationships
Reading Time: 6 mins read
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In a quiet household where languages intertwine like threads of their shared history, a husband and wife navigate the delicate dance of communication and cultural identity. Their love is painted with the colors of Spanish phrases learned through life’s unexpected turns and a persistent desire to connect, yet beneath the surface lies a tension born from differing expectations and teaching styles.

He carries the weight of an unchosen past, shaped by a childhood abroad, while she eagerly seeks to master a language on her own terms. Their journey is not just about vocabulary or grammar, but about understanding, patience, and the unspoken challenges that come with blending worlds and hearts.

AITA for refusing to teach Spanish to my wife “her way”?

My wife (40F) and I (43M) have been together for...

In my case, though, I learned Spanish because I lived...

I must also mention we are also both Cantonese speakers,...

The issue is that she wants me to teach Spanish...

such as "what is the word for *X*" or "how...

But, quite often, she tries to force me to teach...

OK, I am not a Spanish teacher and, while I...

as this is not the type of knowledge you keep...

rather than not answering, I usually tell her "I don't...

This somewhat annoys her because she feels I am not...

Despite she already knows a second language, there are times...

For this, I usually compare lend vs borrow: In Spanish,...

So, in cases like this, she keeps challenging me that...

- Localized idioms: To help her listening, she has been...

some of the Youtubers use their local idioms and, when...

A recent example is the word "*cholo*", which is seldom...

However, that word has different interpretations across Latin America, including...

Of course, this is a knowledge you acquire the longer...

So, instead of taking my word for it (which, I...

Because I feel these lengthy discussions focuses in really specific...

She just feels I am not helpful, as she believes...

What do you think of this story?





THIS STORY SHOOK THE INTERNET – AND REDDITORS DIDN’T HOLD BACK.

kiraIsuAlivr NTA. It's really hard to learn spanish the way...

And yeah, the local idoms are a huge problem. In...

myanila Some places this word exists, some places it's just...

I was a language teacher for some time,

and something I tell everyone is: Just because someone can...

There's a reason why people need degrees or a certificate...

If she really wants to know about conjugation and such,

Terpsich**ean_Wombat she needs to find a teacher or a textbook...

It's strange to me that she won't take "I don't...

you are literally telling her that you don't have the...

Arguing with that strikes me as like arguing with someone...

Cent1234 NAH. ' She's looking for formal instruction, and you're...

I remember one year in high school, in German cla*s,...

The teacher would ask him to conjugate a verb, and...

LeMot-Juste My husband is completely bilingual and can't teach me...

tries. He learned it through using it, as a child...

Your wife better be extremely careful with the Spanish dialect...

Beka_Cooper It would be best if you made it entirely...

matter whether she's an a*shole, you have a problem because...

An inability to see patterns that exist across all 3...

sk**ls.

boopthedoops Until she can learn to take constructive criticism and...

tutor if she wants more specifics about language. You can't...

HaGr00 NTA - im English and I study languages at...

From time to time I ask him help with vocabulary...

does this make sense in this sentence etc) and he's...

But I would NEVER ask for his help on conjugation...

SleepUntilTomorrow cla*s="comment_author">CatholicSchoolVictim: NAH: NTA.

Sign her up for duolingo or something. You're not a...

After reading through the Reddit comments on this story, it’s clear that many people sympathize with the husband’s frustration. Teaching a language is a skill in itself, and doing so effectively requires patience, understanding, and sometimes formal methods, which he may not feel comfortable providing. The wife’s enthusiasm is commendable, but her insistence on a strict teaching style can create tension when the partner isn’t trained or inclined to fulfill that role. Many commenters suggest finding alternative solutions like language classes or tutors, so both partners can enjoy learning without stress.

From my perspective, this situation highlights the importance of communication and setting boundaries in relationships, especially when it comes to shared activities like learning a language. It’s great that the wife is motivated to learn Spanish, but she should recognize and respect her husband’s limits as a teacher. Meanwhile, he could support her learning in ways that feel natural and enjoyable for both, like casual conversations or sharing cultural insights instead of formal lessons. Finding a middle ground will likely strengthen their bond rather than strain it.

Ankit

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