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My brother sabotaged my career to get a promotion and my family expects me to forgive him

by Emily Davis
October 16, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 6 mins read
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Betrayal often cuts deepest when it comes from those we trust most. For five years, he bore the silent weight of his brother’s treachery—a brother he once supported, referred, and celebrated. The wound wasn’t just about a job lost; it was about broken bonds and shattered trust, leaving a chasm no time could easily heal.

Now, surrounded by family urging reconciliation, he stands at a crossroads between past pain and present pressure. The echoes of betrayal clash with the yearning for familial unity, creating a storm of emotions that test the very core of forgiveness and loyalty.

AITA for continuing to refuse to attend family holidays because I am no-contact with my brother over a betrayal that happened 5 years ago?

I (33M) am having an issue where my family is...

Five years ago my brother I were working at the...

I had been there for 3 years and he had...

When a management position came open he and I both...

He was hired for the position and I was not,...

A few months after he was hired for the position...

He told me in confidence that the reason my brother...

was that my brother took an email I sent him...

I confronted him about this and he admitted it,

and said he thinks it wasn't an underhanded thing to...

I was devastated, I cut him out of my life...

He tried to justify his betrayal and told me that...

I found another job and I seldom interact with my...

The att*tude I got from my family was essentially that...

but he has children to take care of so it's...

He has attempted to contact me several times over the...

He was not invited to my wedding, and he and...

My parents have been allowed to come and visit but...

and they have begged me to put the past behind...

we spend Christmas with her family instead of visiting mine....

What do you think of this story?





AFTER THIS STORY DROPPED, REDDIT WENT INTO MELTDOWN MODE – CHECK OUT WHAT PEOPLE SAID.

H**lblazerHawk NTA, you forgive him when you are ready.

And if he really needed the money for his family,...

but I need this for my kids. ". Him sandbagging...

Adept-One-819 but any other potential openings that would have happened...

Your brother is the worst. And frankly, I'm shocked they...

I would never want someone that backstabby working for me...

That being said, if you did want to move past...

but being civil and distant is possible.

sa*sybsa*sy NTA there were plenty of other options for your...

And to undermine your chances was bullshit. He could've said...

Asking you to step aside so he can get it....

CheerilyTerrified Set up boundaries and consequences.: NTA He never apologised.

If your parents genuinely want you all together, they should...

What he did was a c**ppy terrible thing to do...

RedditDK2 NTA - what you brother did was a complete...

AnythingButOlives admitted how his behavior was wrong.: INFO: Has he...

ghostofkilgore NTA No matter what he or anyone says that...

I don't think you're obliged to make peace with him...

Jaded_Tourist2057 NTA. I hate when people try to pull the...

" yet seem to forget why family is (supposedly) so...

When a family member decides to betray your confidence, sabotage...

and then tell you it's not that big a deal...

the_last_ba*selope NTA.

Tell your parents that if they say even one more...

you will cut them out, too.

That your brother made his choice to stab you in...

ichheissekate may as well shut up about it.: NTA.

That was a huge betrayal and you are not obligated...

I would draw a line in the sand with your...

reduced contact, or eventually no contact, with you/your wife/your kid.

After reading the original poster’s story and the subsequent Reddit comments, it’s clear that many people empathize with his decision to go no contact with his brother. The breach of trust—using a private email against him to gain a position—was a serious violation that understandably caused lasting damage. While family ties are important, commenters largely agree that respect and honesty are foundational, and without these, cutting off contact can be a justified way to protect one’s emotional well-being.

In my opinion, it’s crucial to recognize that reconciliation should never be forced, especially when past actions have caused deep hurt. The family’s pressure to resume contact overlooks the significance of the betrayal and the need for boundaries. Ultimately, healing and relationships must come on the terms of the person who was wronged. Respecting his choice to stay no contact honors his experience and autonomy, which is what really matters in the long run.

Emily Davis

Emily writes heartfelt stories about family, parenting, and personal growth.

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