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AITA for refusing to share my s**ces?

by Jane Smith
October 16, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 5 mins read
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In the fragile balance of shared student living, trust is the invisible thread that holds a community together. But when personal boundaries are crossed and belongings are taken without permission, that thread begins to fray, leaving behind a tangled mess of frustration and betrayal. For one young woman, what started as a hopeful agreement to share has turned into a daily battle to protect her space and dignity.

She came prepared, with care and intention, wanting to nourish herself beyond the usual student fare, only to find her efforts disregarded and her belongings treated as communal property without consent. Each missing spice, each borrowed scale with dead batteries, chips away at her patience, revealing a deeper emotional toll beneath the surface of everyday shared living.

AITA for refusing to share my spices?

So for a little context I (22f) am living in...

Now, I've lived away from home before and I know...

scales and whatever else I felt I needed for cooking....

We agreed that we would buy pots and pans together,...

Now, somewhere the lines became blurred and they now seem...

Usually my scales (which wouldn't be a huge issue if...

I wouldn't mind if it were a one off or...

I like to think of myself as a nice person,...

So I asked in the group chat if people would...

They all agreed, but yesterday I once again went into...

So I decided enough was enough and have moved all...

My boyfriend says I'm overreacting and just being a control...

Edit: because people seem to think I am refusing to...

what I am opposed to is people helping themselves to...

I don't find out that I don't have the ingredients...

What do you think of this story?





THIS STORY SHOOK THE INTERNET – AND REDDITORS DIDN’T HOLD BACK.

Pookie103 NTA - there's a difference between pooling together to...

them using up your cooking ingredients (presumably they are not...

You asked them to respect your things and they didn't...

WebbieVanderquack but I don't think it: NTA.

~~INFO: ~~ You say "all of [your] flatmates agreed to...

VixHarlow NTA Those spices are yours.

Just because it's "convenient" for them to steal your ingredients...

doesn't mean that you need to lay down and take...

IChooseYouSnorlax They are YOUR bowls, that you brought with you.:...

If someone decided to help themselves to my saffron, or...

And I pity the person who dares to touch my...

* I would be frustrated as h**l if I went...

Dana07620 Okay, the scale is a little petty. The battery?...

sophloopyP Just put them in a locked box or put...

If you're using communal pots and pans that's fair.

I mean I wouldn't begrudge someone borrowing a bowl off...

If you're all sharing then you all need to be...

I think the lines have gotten blurred where they've a*sumed...

ExpatriadaUE If salt isn't one of the things that's easier...

hecknono I have had roommates like that, and it all...

spend 30.00 on this and instead of lasting you 6...

NTA also, it is inconsiderate to dirty your dishes and...

ShereleB Put all of your stuff away and they will...

TheYearOfThe_Rat NTA, people definitely ask when using other people's items...

This is typicaly the juvenile "I'm too ashamed to ask...

thing. You're correct to actually have moved it,

because, decades ago, in a similar situation in a common...

After reading through the Reddit comments, it’s clear that many sympathize with the original poster’s frustration. Sharing a living space, especially with a mix of ages and personalities, can blur boundaries, but respect for personal belongings is crucial. Most commenters suggest having a direct conversation with the flatmates to establish clear rules and perhaps even designate personal versus shared items more explicitly. Some even recommend labeling personal items to avoid confusion and setting consequences if boundaries are repeatedly crossed.

In my opinion, the root of the problem seems to be a lack of communication and respect. While sharing is part of communal living, individual ownership should be honored, especially when it comes to things like spices and kitchen tools that have been personally purchased and maintained. Establishing clear agreements and open dialogue early on can prevent misunderstandings and foster a more harmonious living environment for everyone involved.

Jane Smith

Jane loves exploring new cultures and writing about travel and lifestyle.

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