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AITA for leaving my boyfriend and his friends behind after agreeing to be the designated driver?

by Alex Johnson
October 16, 2025
in Relationships
Reading Time: 8 mins read
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Four years of love had woven a quiet rhythm between them, where his passion for football and old friendships met her desire for peace and solitude. Each Super Bowl Sunday was a delicate balance—him, lost in the roar of the game and the laughter of old friends; her, content in the calm of her own space, waiting for him to return.

But last night shattered that fragile harmony. What was meant to be a simple pickup became a moment of vulnerability and tension, as his drunken touch crossed a boundary she wasn’t prepared to face. In his anger, whispered words cut deeper than any public scene ever could, leaving her stunned and alone in a crowd that should have been familiar.

AITA for leaving my boyfriend and his friends behind after agreeing to be the designated driver?

My (33F) boyfriend (33M) of four years is a big...

It's often the only time in a year he gets...

I don't like football, so I'm happy to be able...

He tends to go hard with the alcohol when he's...

He wasn't as ready as he made it seem, so...

He was pretty drunk and he started getting handsy in...

I didn't want to make a scene so I leaned...

I could go home with any woman here if I...

I get he was drunk but still. Anger set in...

Unfortunately, he had arranged for me to drive two of...

Instead of calling an Uber or Taxi like I a*sumed...

My boyfriend was furious when he came home and still...

He vehemently denies saying what he did, doesn't recall getting...

I also got an angry text from the wife saying...

She also had a vague pa*sive-aggressive Facebook post up calling...

Maybe I should have just brushed off his comment because...

I just felt so disrespected by what he said after...

So, AITA for leaving my drunk boyfriend and his friends...

To answer a few common questions/comments - He has never...

He can push my boundaries from time to time but...

We've had a really solid relationship up until this point...

- He doesn't go out often but when he does,...

- This was his high school group of friends that...

I don't know the wife at all except for a...

- The reason I decided to just slip away and...

After what he'd said when I tried to set boundaries,...

And he was very unpredictable last night. - It seems...

Went so well that she left me on read and...

- I didn't know until I got to the bar...

A heads-up would have definitely been nice. But I probably...

- I've decided to stay with a close friend for...

- I don't want our relationship to be contingent on...

From experience, ultimatums don't work and lead to resentment.

What do you think of this story?





AFTER THIS STORY DROPPED, REDDIT WENT INTO MELTDOWN MODE – CHECK OUT WHAT PEOPLE SAID.

Foggy_Radish NTA.

Growing up with an alcoholic teaches you that what they...

Just now the filters are gone and they say it....

SevenCarrots The booze set them free.: NTA. Apparently any woman...

pattybliving I'm sure she would have made a few extra...

And why couldn't they take a Lyft? If they can...

It is NOT on you that the woman had to...

owls_and_cardinals NTA. You didn't even know others were planning on...

Hold your ground that what your BF did and said...

Even signing you up to bring others home without telling...

Short-Cla*sroom2559 It's unfortunate but actually probably very fortunate that you've...

msg the wife and tell her what happened and apologize....

If he was too drunk to remember being handsy or...

That's a situation ripe for a very bad outcome if...

bluest828 Personally, I would have left too.: NTA. And the...

Although given how obnoxious this group is, some Uber driver...

Budge1025 NTA - you need to dump this guy, for...

SkeetzSkeetz If my partner ever spoke to me like that...

didn't find appropriate, drunk or not, I'd have caused a...

It's also common courtesy to tell your Designated Driver beforehand,

who exactly is going to be in the car and...

cla*s="comment_author">date-ready: NTA - Being his DD doesn't give him a...

And I think people's true inner personalities come out when...

Superbowldrunkbf **Update as requested by some: ** First off, thank...

I read as many of your comments as I could....

or are, in my situation. I really appreciated the support...

Reading through the Reddit comments, it’s clear that many people empathize with the OP’s discomfort and frustration. Most commenters agree that while the boyfriend’s tradition with his friends is important, it shouldn’t come at the cost of disrespecting his partner, especially in public. The consensus seems to be that communication and boundaries are essential in relationships, and it’s not unreasonable for the OP to expect respectful behavior, even during a night out.

In my opinion, this story highlights the delicate balance between maintaining friendships and nurturing a romantic relationship. It’s understandable that the boyfriend wants to enjoy his annual tradition, but his behavior crossed a line that should be addressed. Hopefully, this incident prompts a mature conversation between them about respect, boundaries, and finding a way to accommodate both their needs moving forward.

Alex Johnson

Alex is an expert in finance and often shares tips on managing personal money.

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