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Woman Refuses To Include Vegan Dishes For DIL On Thanksgiving, Only For DIL To Arrive With Full Vegan Counter-Meal Of The Entire Menu

by John Doe
October 16, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 11 mins read
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In a house where love and tension quietly intertwine, a family prepares to gather for Thanksgiving, each member carrying their own burdens and unspoken grievances. The warmth of togetherness is shadowed by the strained relationship between a mother and her daughter-in-law, whose clashing values and silent judgments threaten to overshadow the holiday spirit.

Amid the careful planning and cautious steps taken to protect everyone’s health, the mother faces the challenge of navigating demands that feel less like requests and more like ultimatums. The clash over the menu becomes a symbol of deeper conflicts, where respect and understanding seem just out of reach, casting a fragile pall over what should be a time of celebration.

AITA for having kicked my DIL out of my Thanksgiving meal after her vegan feast fiasco?

My daughter (21) lives with us while finishing college. My...

My sister, who drove three hours with her husband and...

DIL and I don't get along for many reasons I...

especially because of her veganism. Last Thanksgiving, she raised h**l...

Last week, DIL contacts me on FB asking for the...

She also sent me many replication recipes to make for...

This annoyed me, because I had already made sure to...

I finally just told her to go pound sand, and...

They arrive late with a *ton* of food dishes, parading...

Turns out, she, out of spite, took the *exact* menu,...

My sister and daughter in particular did try the food...

she would give me this look as she received her...

" The part where I finally snapped was at dessert....

When at her turn, she got the same smug, vindictive...

inclusive Thanksgiving, and I hope it continues next year!" Reddit,...

and then said, as calmly as I could, that I...

It took them a moment to catch on, and soon...

I didn't think about it until this evening, when my...

He said that while he sees my side, she "didn't...

My husband is telling me I should just apologize, because...

He doesn't really get why it hurt me so much...

I absolutely had vegan options for them to begin with....

a few side dishes (most were vegan with nonvegan addons),...

but the other entrees "wouldn't work" and that I needed...

My son let it slip that she spent "hundreds of...

Another note is that although the threat of the grandchildren...

Last time she made it two weeks and gave in,...

That is an expression. I told her that was the...

I have a mini update. I've spoken with my husband,...

I spent *days* making this meal, and for him, who...

I additionally reminded him of the other issues we've had,...

He is welcome to talk to them if he likes,...

We talked it a bit more, and he respects my...

I told my son that if he wants to continue...

I have explained my side to him (in tears), and...

He claims he isn't a part of it and its...

I've told him that I'm always there for his children,...

and that includes the consistent free labor. His response was...

That solidified my decision, and I've cut contact. My daughter...

**PLEASE DO NOT SEND ME HATE DMS ABOUT YOUR PERSONAL...

I DO NOT WISH TO HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH YOU,...

What do you think of this story?





REDDIT USERS WERE STUNNED – YOU WON’T BELIEVE SOME OF THESE REACTIONS.

Suckonmysycamore >I didn't think about it until this evening,

when my son sent me a text telling me that...

good no free childcare for those stuck up jerks. maybe...

ghostcraft33 NTA: NTA - Honestly you were a lot nicer...

You tried to offer them vegan food but they felt...

H**l f**king no! 1. You stated its expensive as all...

Had you just made one entirely vegan meal, that means...

Vegan subst*tutes can be good but not all people like...

Im gluten free and you don't see me demanding a...

She was the one who made an issue out of...

She was the one who wouldn't drop it. If anything...

Honestly just don't invite her over to Thanksgiving anymore if...

juniperberry52 giving yourself burn out.: NTA I would've lost it...

Anyone wanting you to apologize to her needs to go...

If they're going to hold your grandchildren over your head...

Confusion-Advanced NTA. She had the option to stay home and...

She didn't need to be rude or rub it in...

F**kUGalen I'm in the market for a new mother in...

can I interest you in adopting my husband? I know...

Also I'm omnivore and dont care to argue about food...

Luna-Strange NTA: NTA. She did it out of spite. She...

Its extremely rude to bring an entire new meal without...

For a vegan shes really not that smart. Your son...

Inform your son you will not say a word to...

Its also not your problem how much money she wasted....

The blame is fully on her. Edit to say, way...

They should not be trying to strong arm and apology...

At the end of the day the kids always get...

Caribouhou Its far to much heartache and you never win.:...

I'm vegetarian and I don't judge what other people put...

Your DIL is incredibly self-righteous and the prime example of...

People forget I don't eat meat because I'm not such...

but if they don't, I always offer to bring food...

doublest*tch Looks like her plan was to maneuver the extended...

probably toward an endgame of converting everyone into full time...

In the abstract I can pa**e the values system where...

R0mansM0mmy NTA: NTA. If she wanted a completely vegan menu,...

SirEDCaLot I wouldn't want to spend thanksgiving with her either.:...

Bringing a complete copy of the menu vegan-style is a...

She is a poor guest. Your son is in a...

So he tries to just keep the peace. I'd suggest...

Tell him you are going to say some things and...

Tell him you love him very much and you want...

Tell him you respect DIL's vegan choices, but it bothers...

Tell him that when DIL brought in a carbon copy...

Tell him that every time she would make a glib...

And tell him that when she said she's thankful for...

which you believe she really is,

but you don't want to spend Thanksgiving with people who...

Tell him you understand he just wants to play peacemaker...

But tell him it also feels c**ppy that he is...

while he does nothing about it and even defends it....

And 'she didn't mean it' doesn't fly because this wasn't...

this was continual disrespect before and during the Thanksgiving visit....

And while you are required to be at least somewhat...

you are not required to host someone who openly disrespects...

So, tell him, she should decide if she wants to...

But if she wants to be your daughter in a...

Until she makes that choice, she isn't welcome in the...

They are welcome to stop by on weekends though.

This isn't about harming the kids btw- it's that free...

So if DIL is going to treat you like shit,...

After reading through the Reddit comments, it’s clear that many sympathize with the original poster’s frustration. The tension between her and the daughter-in-law seems to stem from deeper personality clashes and differing values, particularly around food choices and respect for boundaries. While it’s commendable that the host provided vegan options, the DIL’s demands and tone understandably put a strain on the family dynamic, making what should be a joyful occasion more stressful for everyone involved.

In my opinion, the key takeaway is the importance of communication and compromise during family gatherings. Everyone wants to feel valued and respected, but when one party imposes their preferences in a condescending way, it can create unnecessary conflict. Moving forward, perhaps setting clear expectations well in advance and focusing on shared experiences rather than food battles might help ease the tension and make future holidays more enjoyable for the whole family.

John Doe

John is a seasoned writer with a passion for storytelling and technology.

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