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AITA for not giving my ex girlfriend money I promised her?

by Charlie Brown
October 16, 2025
in Relationships
Reading Time: 4 mins read
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After two years of what he believed was a stable relationship, he thought he was doing the right thing by offering to help Sam fix her car and pay off her credit card debt. But when she suddenly ended things, the promises once made became a battlefield of broken trust and unmet expectations, leaving him numb and indifferent to the heartbreak he never saw coming.

Now, with Sam reaching out for the money he once intended to give, the weight of responsibility crashes down on him. What was meant as a gift to ease her struggles has turned into a bitter confrontation, forcing him to question not just the promise, but the changing dynamics of their fractured connection.

AITA for not giving my ex girlfriend money I promised her?

I had been dating Sam (F31) for two years and...

I was getting some money as a bonus and I...

gift this year. She got her car fixed but then...

She contacted me to see if I had gotten the...

She said I was an a*shole for letting her put...

I was planning on giving her the money. And she...

What do you think of this story?





THIS STORY SHOOK THE INTERNET – AND REDDITORS DIDN’T HOLD BACK.

DataGOGO You were planning on giving her money as a...

Do you normally keep buying your ex's Christmas and Birthday...

Do you think she is going to be buying you...

linka1913 NTA. So if I was her, I wouldn't even...

I feel like it's implied that if I decide to...

Dragon_Bidness There's no obligation whatsoever ‍ but that's just me:...

girlfriend money. She's not your girlfriend.

ThatWhichLurks782 NTA of course you aren't still going to give...

DtownBronx I feel like offering a gift replacing birthday and...

that you're going to be together for those events.

You wouldn't be giving her a birthday or Christmas gift...

Weareallme NTA: NTA. Actions have consequences. Breaking up means not...

The money was clearly meant to be contingent on being...

I would say that you would be crazy to still...

Away-Baseball-2183 You promised to give your girlfriend money and now...

SenatorPardek your choice to end it so the promise went...

I wish I had the confidence and audacity of this...

kevinhaddon NTA: If you want to be an a-hole,

CaptainFresh27 send her a picture of the money: NTA.

You were willing to give that money to a partner,...

she also changed the dynamic with your wallet.

After reading through the Reddit comments, it’s clear that many users sympathize with both sides of this story. Some argue that since the relationship ended, the original agreement feels void, and the money was intended as a gift contingent on their ongoing partnership. Others believe that promises, especially those involving financial help, should be honored regardless of relationship status, especially given the practical necessity of the car for Sam’s work and child care.

In my opinion, while the breakup understandably changes the dynamic, the ethical choice would be to follow through on the initial commitment. The money was meant to help Sam avoid debt and maintain her livelihood, which is a significant responsibility. Even if emotions have cooled, fulfilling this promise would demonstrate integrity and compassion amid a difficult situation.

Charlie Brown

Charlie is a creative mind who enjoys writing about art, music, and culture.

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