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AITA for the way I respond to my new co-worker’s personal questions?

by John Doe
October 16, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 10 mins read
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She carries a past heavy with shadows—abandoned by family, lost to the unforgiving foster system, and hardened by the streets. From the depths of homelessness and escort work to the sterile halls of corporate offices, she has clawed her way to survival, fiercely guarding the fragments of her broken heart against the world’s intrusion.

Now, in a new job, she builds walls higher than ever, refusing to let anyone close. Her silence is a shield, her isolation a fortress; the pain of her history too raw to share, too dangerous to trust. Behind her quiet exterior lies a storm of resilience and unspoken scars, a soul determined to endure but afraid to be seen.

AITA for the way I respond to my new co-worker’s personal questions?

I(28F) am a foster kid. Long story short: dad drug...

mom drug addict, mom died and dad went to jail...

Then I became homeless, worked as an escort, went to...

Even more so because of my first corporate job, where...

When I started at my current job, I made the...

So I arrive at my desk at 08: 45, I'm...

My new colleagues got the hint when I just said...

and when instead of going to a colleague's wedding, I...

Then this woman started with us almost 3 months ago....

made friends with the whole office within the first week,...

At first, I was direct but polite, I told her...

and do not like to mix my professional and personal...

And it's not in a creepy way, or a way...

instead of trying to redirect the conversation, or changing the...

Yesterday she came by my desk, and asked if I...

Then she asked me what my plans were, and if...

At first she was annoyed, then she started rambling, then...

Another colleague sitting close by gave me this disappointed look...

but that that was no way to treat someone who...

Edit: so this blew up, I posted it and didn't...

Anyways, I read most of the replies, and here's some...

I'm not just sitting in a corner hissing at people...

For the last 3 months I have done everything I...

tried saying I was busy so she could leave me...

Most people said this is HR worthy, so I think...

Some people said me refusing to talk can hinder my...

I just refuse to talk about anything beyond what could...

So I don't think it will be a problem. I...

What do you think of this story?





AFTER THIS STORY DROPPED, REDDIT WENT INTO MELTDOWN MODE – CHECK OUT WHAT PEOPLE SAID.

GreyishBlue NTA,

though if this happens again in front of other people...

asked you to stop digging into personal matters, as I...

If you continue to hara*s me this way, I intend...

Thanks for understanding" That way everyone is aware she's been...

Pepper-90210 The blank stare, while effective against her, probably won't...

Brilliant power move!! She's not trying to be friendly, she's...

Scrabblement NTA,

but coming up with some small talk that's not revealing...

"Oh, running some errands, catching up on some TV. Have...

"I'm not that into gift exchanges, but I always like...

" If you have a pet, you're home free. "[insert...

" First you're "saying something about yourself" that doesn't actually...

you don't have to really have errands, enjoy decorations, etc.

) Then you're immediately handing the conversation back to the...

Let them monologue briefly, nod and smile, and then say...

You won't be seen as the office loner, and you...

OLAZ3000 Honestly, soft YTA You can respond without giving anything...

Mostly errands - going to a movie - catching up...

If she pushes more, you can just repeat that you're...

Just staring is unnecessarily aggressive when to me, it was...

I mean I think it was nearly the definition of...

elle23nc You can connect on pretty vapid but fun things...

The company isn't paying her to data mine personal information...

Brainjacker >it's not in a creepy way,

or a way that would allow me to go to...

EternalCharax reportable to HR. NTA.: NTA You asked her to...

She has forfeited any degree of consideration for her feefees....

Office_Desk906 Godd**n extroverts imposing themselves on people who just wanna...

I'm going to be saying things people won't want to...

This new co-worker should be respecting your boundaries and I...

Being right doesn't make you safe. Just like being taken...

And what you're doing is risky. Let me put it...

it would be you unless your productivity is so *immensely*...

(And then I'd have to know how valuable of an...

) This decision would have nothing to do with you...

It would simply be because everyone else will be least...

Just as they will be least upset if you get...

Depending on the size of the company, she might already...

Reporting any of this to HR is just as likely...

hers. Some of them may even lie or exaggerate to...

You have already been berated for treating her badly. To...

Your stare sounds like someone creating a hostile work environment....

You are very lucky that she's not a vindictive person...

witnesses that like her and are neutral about you. No...

She was being "socially normal". You were being "mean". I...

But society rewards extroverts and you are not going to...

mine included, but understand that not one of us face...

My advise if you wish to continue to disengage from...

her in as boring a manner as possible. In other...

Her: "Got anything special planned this weekend?" You: "Not really."...

" Or maybe Her: "Surely you're doing something." You: "Nope!...

" You don't owe her even the slightest detail of...

Finally,

it sounds like you're not getting close to your colleagues...

others (plus the money *sigh*). That's a sign your other...

Pay attention to your current workplace and see if they...

And if they are just as bad, you might want...

you're going to get the short end of the stick...

skate1243 That is a first for me.: Technically NTA but...

Because youve demonstrated a complete lack of people sk**ls, I...

Its really not that hard to make the slightest effort...

I mean come on. For what it's worth,

I'm also mildly judging you for not participating in the...

but is it really that hard to treat them like...

Link-loves-Zelda From your side of the story NTA but I...

There are still ways to be private and friendly at...

"Sorry, as I mentioned I don't like talking about my...

Reading through the Reddit comments, it’s clear that many people empathize deeply with the original poster’s choice to build strong boundaries at work given her painful and unstable past. Commenters often highlighted the resilience it takes to overcome such adversity and the importance of protecting one’s emotional wellbeing, especially in professional environments that may not always be supportive or understanding. Some also noted the unfortunate reality that workplaces sometimes marginalize those who don’t fit traditional social molds, like single women without children, which can compound feelings of isolation.

In my view, this story is a powerful reminder that people carry unseen battles and complex histories that shape their interactions and choices. While workplace camaraderie can be valuable, respecting individual limits and understanding that some colleagues may need to keep their distance is crucial. Ultimately, fostering a culture of empathy and inclusivity means acknowledging and honoring each person’s unique journey, even if they choose to remain guarded.

John Doe

John is a seasoned writer with a passion for storytelling and technology.

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