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Biological Mom Wants to Meet My Daughter After 11 Years and My Son Says I’m Wrong to Say No

by John Doe
October 16, 2025
in WIBTA
Reading Time: 8 mins read
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Eleven years ago, a fragile promise was made between two families bound by circumstance and hope. When Erica, a young woman grappling with an unexpected pregnancy, chose to give up her baby, a loving couple stepped forward to offer not just financial support but a lifetime of care and devotion. Their daughter, now eleven, is the embodiment of that sacrifice and love, a child who was always meant to be theirs, even if the path to her was tangled with complicated emotions and fractured relationships.

Today, the past collides with the present as Erica seeks contact with the daughter she left behind, stirring a storm of uncertainty and heartache. The parents, protective and wary, face a painful dilemma—balancing truth and tenderness while shielding their child from confusion and anxiety. Amid strained ties and differing views, the story lays bare the raw, unspoken struggles of family, identity, and the quiet battles fought in the name of love.

WIBTA for not introducing my daughter to her biological mother?

My daughter is (11F) her biological mother is (29F, Erica)...

my son didn't want the baby either...we offered to financially...

We paid her rent for 2 years whilst she went...

as he doesn't want to be involved with our daughter...

he visited us and told us Erica had asked to...

but honestly we don't think that's best for our daughter...

but right now she's going through therapy for anxiety. My...

Erica has a 2 year old now and said she...

but not only that Ericas parents that I've known for...

but Erica has a right to know her daughter. Nobody...

Erica contacted us then and we shot her down telling...

What do you think of this story?





AFTER THIS STORY DROPPED, REDDIT WENT INTO MELTDOWN MODE – CHECK OUT WHAT PEOPLE SAID.

tom_boydy This is only anecdotal, based on my own experiences...

1 new his entire life, one discovered she was when...

The only one of those 3 to have a healthy...

The la*s who only found out as an adult hasn't...

mum thanks to b***st cancer. Which is another major consideration...

Beyond her own mental health issues your daughter also deserves...

history. YWBTA if you continue to keep her in the...

Record_Strange Originally was going to go with N A H...

she's adopted. That is an important fact that every adopted...

Trust me, as an adopted child if I were to...

It's better to tell her now before some serious resentment...

We all have to do things we don't want to...

At her age, it's going to rock her world regardless.

Potential_Honey_955 YTA Edit: grammar: YTA not for not wanting bio...

But for the fact your daughter doesn't know she is...

I agree to talk to her therapist about this and...

It sounds like you can't rely on the people in...

raucouscaucus7756 INFO: why didn't you tell your daughter she was...

How are you going to explain that her brother is...

Have you thought at all about how lying to her...

Swampman5000 Let me tell you this, I know a lot...

I know some who's parents told them immediately they're adopted...

The one's who were told early on in life handle...

that they feel their adoptive parents lied to them and...

I can't imagine learning that her "brother" is actually her...

She should have always known that she was adopted, but...

As for the contact with her bio-mom, that should be...

and if y'all had told her from the beginning that...

Jessica_Lovegood YTA ... it really sounds like you „bought" the...

because a „biologically related to you" baby was on offer......

Why on earth didn't you let the kid know immediately...

it's always healthier to establish contact to the birth parents...

Tell your daughter where she comes from, yesterday!

OrangeCubit Talk this through with a therapist specializing in adoption....

At minimum take this to an adoption sub and not...

MagicianGOBBluth OP states in the comments that the daughter is...

More and more studies suggest that separation from the mother...

If she is suffering mental distress (anxiety), you are hiding...

Further, this never should've been a secret to begin with...

She has the right to that information and to decide...

YTA, you're actually a huge AH here and you need...

Stillokayfine u/SilentPut6722 INFO: This is so much bigger than AITA.

Some more info would help people see the full picture....

Did Erica and your son receive comprehensive counselling BEFORE deciding...

Did they continue to receive counselling until, at a bare...

Was any of this specifically aimed at ensuring that they...

When young people are in a pickle like this, it...

not just an option. 3. As the parent of the...

did you offer to help these young parents to raise...

As the parent of the biological father, did you consider...

unless your son absolutely could not care less about being...

given at how incredibly painful it would've been for him...

You answered someone that this was a formal adoption. Did...

Especially covering things like what to do it the bio...

this isn't necessarily the same as any "ordinary" adoption), what...

what your motivation for the adoption was, etc.? Truly, these...

Abeyita INFO: why don't you ask your daughter if she...

After reading through the Reddit comments, it’s clear that this situation is deeply complex and emotionally charged. Many commenters empathized with the parents’ desire to protect their daughter’s well-being, especially given her current struggles with anxiety and therapy. At the same time, there was an understanding of Erica’s natural desire to connect with her child and the son’s frustration with being caught in the middle. Most agreed that the parents’ cautious approach to introducing contact when their daughter is emotionally ready is a responsible and thoughtful decision.

In my opinion, balancing the daughter’s emotional health with the interests of all parties involved is the key challenge here. The parents have shown a lot of generosity and care, both in supporting Erica in the past and in prioritizing their daughter’s needs now. While open communication and eventual contact might be beneficial, it must be done at the right time and in a way that supports the daughter’s mental health. For now, respecting the parents’ judgment and focusing on the daughter’s therapy seem like the best path forward.

John Doe

John is a seasoned writer with a passion for storytelling and technology.

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