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AITA for refusing to grow our family because my wife is out of shape?

by Alex Johnson
October 16, 2025
in Relationships
Reading Time: 7 mins read
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In the quiet turmoil of their home, a husband and wife stand at a crossroads where love and frustration collide. Their dream of expanding their family is shadowed by fears of health and past struggles, each conversation revealing the silent battles they both fight within themselves.

Amid the tender moments with their two-year-old, they grapple with the weight of unspoken pain and unmet expectations. The husband’s plea for patience and healing clashes with the wife’s longing for renewal and hope, painting a raw portrait of a marriage strained yet still yearning for understanding.

AITA for refusing to grow our family because my wife is out of shape?

Throwaway. But stay with me, ok? My wife (31F) and...

I told her that I don't think it's a great...

I reminded her about her "miserable pregnancy" (her words). She...

She complains about going up a flight of stairs (to...

She even acknowledges how unhappy she is with her health/body....

" I bought an exercise bike (that I use 5+...

I've bought healthier food (but she does a lot of...

After going through all my concerns with her, she's pretty...

She doesn't think I care about her need to have...

I don't want another kid to push her even further....

I can't see myself being able to do this without...

What do you think of this story?





REDDIT USERS WERE STUNNED – YOU WON’T BELIEVE SOME OF THESE REACTIONS.

sugurkewbz NTA.

My mother was morbidly obese (probably 400-500 lbs) and could...

I would BEG her to take me to the park,...

She died at the age of 42 (when I was...

From a child's standpoint I cannot express how devastating it...

21 years later and it still hurts like h**l to...

I know things can happen that are unavoidable, but your...

eatencrow NAH. Being overweight is hard. Losing weight is hard.

She's gotta choose which hard she's going to embrace, because...

You can't outrun a bad diet, and you can't eat...

You're leading by example and you're doing a great job...

Wanting to be healthier is a great goal and much...

You two might benefit from a nutrition tracker app like...

Tracking what you eat is an easy (and free) way...

She'll get healthy when she's ready. You'll make your fertility...

What's not sustainable is this kind of game of family...

where she thinks you'll blink and want another baby before...

Technical-Leather Fingers crossed you two start rowing in the same...

She does not NEED to have at least two children....

ecka0185 NTA- gaining 80+ lbs during pregnancy is more than...

it's not extreme to think that overall being healthy and...

Don't @ me with the you can be obese and...

she's self admitted she can't keep up with light exercise...

state. Being overweight while pregnant can cause complications for baby...

Politely stand your ground but you're not depriving her of...

perspective.

zgamer200 NAH - I think the best way to go...

therapist about your concerns. If what you're describing is accurate,...

It's fine if she wants to have another kid, but...

Do you know if there's any particular reason why she...

This is definitely some armchair psychologist stuff here so ignore...

but maybe she's feeling lonely and a bit unneeded since...

which is NOT a good reason to have another kid...

Ihasquestionsss INFO: Would you yourself want another kid and have...

justkiiiding weight?: I'm not saying that this is the reason,

*at all*, but after I had my second son and...

I wanted to get pregnant again just so I had...

I was ashamed because there are tons of people who...

She might be depressed and looking for a way to...

Even if they themselves said it first. But I wish...

Yeah it would have stung, but it would have meant...

NTA because it's obvious that you are concerned about her...

john_nash1 NTA BTW, you should be careful around s*x. Some...

6thMagrathea Make sure you use a condom even if she...

her need to have at least two kids Whew I...

It must be that I don't want children but I...

NTA but you need to make it absolutely clear that...

I have no idea though how you can convince her...

Explain that you want you guys to be healthy and...

lacyinwonderland Maybe a person with a certain authority on healthy...

Her health is important to carry a baby. If she...

After reading through the Reddit comments on this story, it’s clear that many people empathize with both sides of the argument. The husband’s concerns about health and readiness for another child seem reasonable given the wife’s ongoing struggles post-pregnancy, and his efforts to support healthier habits show good intentions. However, some commenters also pointed out that the wife’s feelings and desire for another child are valid, especially as she’s acknowledging her health issues and possibly seeking reassurance and partnership rather than judgment.

In my opinion, this situation highlights the importance of open communication and mutual support in a marriage, especially when it comes to major life decisions like expanding a family. It’s not just about physical readiness, but emotional readiness and feeling heard. The couple could benefit from counseling together to address these concerns and find a path forward that respects both their health needs and family goals. Ultimately, empathy and patience will be key to navigating this challenge.

Alex Johnson

Alex is an expert in finance and often shares tips on managing personal money.

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