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AITA for refusing to pay for my sister’s college after she THREW my toddler?

by Charlie Brown
October 16, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 10 mins read
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A woman’s frustration boils over as she battles against a tide of disbelief, desperately seeking validation in a world that refuses to see her truth. Caught in the relentless storm of conflicting voices, she clings to the hope that an outside perspective will anchor her sanity before it slips away completely.

Beneath the surface of a seemingly simple family arrangement lies a tangled web of expectations and unspoken debts. As she shoulders the financial and emotional weight of supporting her younger sister through college while raising her toddler, the small requests for help become lightning rods for deeper tensions, revealing the fragile balance between love, obligation, and resentment.

AITA for refusing to pay for my sister’s college after she THREW my toddler?

I am so f**king annoyed as a type this out....

I'm typing this out because I NEED an outside perspective...

For context, my(34) sister(19) has been staying with my family...

We WERE paying for everything because my husband and I...

and we have enough savings together that it just makes...

In return for charging her no rent, feeding her, AND...

It is never for longer than an hour MAX and...

He ADORES her, so it is much easier to hand...

Please understand, this is never, absolutely NEVER for longer than...

but I always ask if she minds and whenever she...

usually with YouTube or something similar which I dislike but...

Something I have warned her about repeatedly is not to...

This is because he has a tendency to pull and...

but he is still a toddler so of course it's...

We refuse to spank him, but you can't ground a...

2 days ago I had to run an errand and...

It wouldn't have taken me longer than 20 minutes, which...

I told her it could be dangerous especially with how...

When I came back, I heard both of them screaming...

I grabbed him and I saw that his head was...

When the ambulance did arrive and I finally gave a...

Apparently what had happened was that my son had woke...

When she looked away, my son took her headband and...

I was still furious with her for OBVIOUS reasons?? While...

the doctors say he fell so hard he now has...

which I'm sure I'll feel worse about when my emotions...

Obviously my husband and I told her under no uncertain...

but we will not be pressing charges or pursuing legal...

The problem is that now, several family members are saying...

My parents are saying that we should forgive her because...

But if she didn't want to take care of him,...

she is a grown adult capable of say, restraining a...

I do not think I am the a*shole AT ALL,...

ETA some info now that I'm calmer: We were only...

Regarding food: I tend to cook in big batches anyways...

Rent is similar, we have a guest room and as...

The only reason I paid her to take care of...

This was something I could sympathize with so I offered...

These are all things I wouldn't have done if they...

When he does things he is not supposed to, we...

There really isn't much more we can do aside from...

According to the doctors at the hospital, thankfully my sisters...

The doctor also stated that my son should heal as...

I still have not spoken to her since telling her...

happened. I still don't think I'm ready to talk to...

3rd Edit: Just realized the typo with my age. It...

What do you think of this story?





AFTER THIS STORY DROPPED, REDDIT WENT INTO MELTDOWN MODE – CHECK OUT WHAT PEOPLE SAID.

Casianh I don't usually call out fake stories,

but you expect us to believe that your toddler not...

but managed to stab it hard enough in her ear...

As someone who has had an eardrum ruptured, your sister...

I've had kidney stones and gave birth to a 10lb+...

Miserable-Most-1265 This isn't real.

WifeofBath1984 NTA so your child is your responsibility and your...

Lol no. They can feed, house, clothe and pay their...

Glittering-List-465 How in the world was she so distracted long...

poke it in her ear? Does she have super short...

eldritchcryptid i literally NEVER do this but i'm calling fake...

it isn't then how the unholy F**K did you expect...

also i highly doubt that she threw him. pushed him...

kinda just sounds like you were looking for a way...

babysitter. but yeah this honestly sounds fake af. Edit for...

Few-Brilliant-722 NTA People are only saying you're too harsh because...

become their responsibility.

celticmusebooks **I shouldn't have trusted her with my son to...

** Ironic choice of phrase there. Yes,

your son isn't her "responsibility" JUST LIKE her college education...

Thank your parents for reminding you that it's about "responsibility"...

pay for a childminder to come in and help with...

Remind them that responsibilty is governed by priority and that...

Indigenous_bada*s This sounds fake because there's no way a toddler...

somebody so hard in the ear with a headband that...

Not to mention that, even if that highly unlikely almost...

and a doctor would have explained that thoroughly.

On the rare chance that this isn't fake the sister...

kid all whilst being handed everything and not really having...

Heaven forbid she would have to work a job and...

IntermediateFolder Sounds made up. That's not how any of this...

HoneyCrispCrumble To answer your question: NTA because you are not...

sister. You don't owe her because your parents helped you...

You also pay her to watch him, even though you...

imo the least she could do is help out for...

scared when her eardrum was literally pierced by a sharp...

I'm not saying throwing him was acceptable AT ALL but...

physical response would be if I was injured to that...

put herself in danger. The family members upset about this...

After reading through the Reddit comments, it’s clear that many people sympathize with the original poster’s frustration. Most commenters agree that asking a sister to help with childcare for short periods is a reasonable request, especially given the significant financial support being provided. They also point out that the sister’s resistance or refusal to help can come across as ungrateful or unfair, particularly when the help requested is minimal and the familial support is substantial. Many suggest that clear communication and setting expectations upfront might have helped avoid this tension.

In my opinion, the situation highlights the importance of mutual respect and boundaries within families. While the financial support is generous, it’s not unreasonable to expect some reciprocity, especially when it involves caring for a young child who clearly adores the sister. At the same time, it’s important for the sister to recognize the sacrifices being made for her and to contribute in small but meaningful ways. Finding a balanced approach where both parties feel valued and heard is key to maintaining harmony in such living arrangements.

Charlie Brown

Charlie is a creative mind who enjoys writing about art, music, and culture.

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