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AITA for Telling My Wife She’s “F**king Wrong” and That My Mom Is Right?

by Alex Johnson
October 16, 2025
in Relationships
Reading Time: 9 mins read
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In the quiet desperation of mounting bills and dwindling savings, a young couple faces the harsh reality of financial strain that threatens to unravel their dreams. The husband, recently jobless and overwhelmed, feels the weight of responsibility crushing him as he struggles to keep his family afloat, clinging to the hope that there’s a way out of this suffocating cycle.

Amid the tension and worry, a glimmer of hope arrives in the form of his mother—a woman shaped by hardship and resilience, ready to impart her wisdom born from years of frugality. Her presence brings a chance for change, a lifeline woven from practical advice and shared determination to rebuild their future together.

AITA for Telling My Wife She’s “Fucking Wrong” and That My Mom Is Right?

I (35M) have been married to my wife (32F) for...

I lost my job about three months ago, and while...

We've had to cut back on a lot of things,...

Recently, my mom (65F) came over to visit, and she...

She offered some advice on how we could save money-things...

My mom has always been frugal, especially when she was...

I asked if she was willing to go through our...

She made a whole spreadsheet about our spending, and we...

It also became apparent that most of the fun spending...

She said that my mom's way of doing things is...

and she likes having variety in what we eat each...

but she kept insisting that things weren't as bad as...

" My mom left at this point and we were...

That's when I lost my patience and said, "You're f***ing...

and we can't even cut back on groceries for a...

She's barely spoken to me since, and now I'm wondering...

we need to be realistic about our situation, and my...

What do you think of this story?





AFTER THIS STORY DROPPED, REDDIT WENT INTO MELTDOWN MODE – CHECK OUT WHAT PEOPLE SAID.

Allaboutbird NTA. Your wife agreed to go through your budget...

your mom took the time and effort to review things...

As far as I know math hasn't changed that much...

JimmyAintSure4646 NTA, but your wife certainly is!

She claims your moms ways are "outdated," when they're actually...

You and your wife absolutely need to get on the...

otherwise the issue will never be resolved and your current...

The single most important financial decision you can make is...

Ambroisie_Cy NTA * Your wife wants to continue the lifestyle...

* She's closed to any compromise that could affect her...

* She refuses to take any responsibilities. * Your wife...

Was the F*ck necessary? Probably not. But, in this context,...

So, no, not the a*shole, even with this word. I'd...

If your mother is wrong and your wife is right,...

Here are other things that you could tell her: *...

Meaning that you could prep a bunch of ingredients that...

There's a whole community on Youtube doing it and giving...

The rest of the week,

you could buy the ingredients that creates her Moka Pumpkin...

Most of the time, it ends up 10x better and...

* You could cut down the take out at once...

Those are the solutions your mother told you already, but...

Now, of course your problem seems deeper than just trying...

But for the problem at hand, I think it might...

Edit: I know, my comment is already long. I just...

She refuses to work full time because it's bad for...

That's what partnership is all about! She is extremely selfish...

You don't just have a temporary financial problem, you have...

She refuses to put any effort on every front of...

She is waiting for you to do almost everything (financially...

Her lack of responsibility and effort into this relationship is...

rockology_adam NTA, although language and tone got in the way...

You and your wife NEED to have this conversation, because...

I can see why your wife is calling your mom's...

because the millenial shift in thought is often stereotyped as...

" It's what boomers said when they got to retirement,...

It's where avocado toast came from, and frankly, it's not...

Your mother's advice IS good advice, and her spreadsheet is...

It's triggering for your wife because it points out that...

are financially incompatible with the financial security that would be...

Stability versus comfort seems like an easy call, except for...

You will want to talk to a real financial advisor....

and if you can get the two in the same...

You will probably need some a*sistance to get to compromise,...

Your mother's stringent drop-it-all advice is too strict and will...

Ok_Conversation9750 NTA and your wife needs a major reality check!!

Calling a sensible budget old fashioned is beyond stupid! A...

In 2008 -2009 when tens of thousands of people lost...

We did exactly what you did - sat down and...

My monthly pedicure went away. Coupon cutting became a f**king...

I fear for your marriage and financial future if your...

C_Majuscula NTA. Everything your mother said still applies.

If you're pulling from savings but still buying Starbucks, takeout,...

, it's time for somebody with some sense to start...

These are the actual priorities: * Rent/mortgage and renters'/homeowners' insurance...

Utilities / gas for the car * Basic food,

although you could look to see what you may be...

but she's going to have to learn. What is her...

Cayke_Cooky ~~INFO: are YOU going to be the one doing...

Or is this all advice for what your wife needs...

workinkindofhard ~~INFO did your wife and you discuss having this...

of you sit down an make this spreadsheet together? Or...

~~ Edit: NTA,

your wife agreed to the conversation and is being unreasonable...

cla*s="comment_author">Didntlikedefaultname: Info. You mentioned your own loss of a job...

Is she the primary earner right now?

catladyclub NTA and your wife needs to learn the difference...

She doesn't want to give up her luxuries. So evidently...

I do not upgrade my phone until I have to....

I shop sales for everything. I plan my menu for...

My husband and I make over 250 grand a year...

I would rather have 3 grand in a 30 dollar...

We are set up well for retirement. It is called...

That coffee tastes good but when you can't pay your...

Many Reddit commenters empathized with the original poster’s financial struggles, praising his mom’s practical advice and willingness to help without judgment. Most agreed that adopting frugal habits like meal prepping and switching brands could ease some of the financial pressure. However, some cautioned that while cutting costs is important, it’s equally crucial to maintain open communication between spouses to avoid resentment or added stress during tough times.

In conclusion, the story highlights the importance of family support and practical strategies when facing financial hardship. While the road to stability might be challenging, a combination of budgeting, teamwork, and sometimes an outside perspective can make a significant difference. Ultimately, it’s about balancing frugality with maintaining a healthy partnership and ensuring that both partners feel heard and supported.

Alex Johnson

Alex is an expert in finance and often shares tips on managing personal money.

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