The original poster (OP) finalized a divorce with his ex-wife last year following her one-night stand, an event that caused him significant pain and anger. Although the ex-wife apologized extensively and offered to comply with his requests, the OP lost all emotional connection to her, ultimately deciding against reconciliation despite briefly reconsidering.
The parents maintained an amicable divorce process for the sake of their two daughters, aged 13 and 15, though the separation significantly impacted the children. Following the finalized divorce, the OP focused heavily on fitness and decided to engage in casual hookups, inviting partners over when the daughters were staying with their mother. This arrangement was disrupted when the older daughter discovered these visits through a Ring app notification she had access to, leading to a confrontation where she expressed discomfort, stating the actions were disrespectful to her mother.
AITAH for telling my daughter it’s none of her business who I decide to date and to mind her own business
According to Dr. Casey Brooks, a specialist in family transition and boundaries, ‘The post-divorce period requires a delicate renegotiation of roles for both parents and children; established lines of privacy and authority must be clearly redefined, often under increased emotional scrutiny.’ The OP’s immediate drive for physical release and establishing independence after a year of stressful proceedings is a common, though often poorly managed, coping mechanism. His decision to date and bring partners home reflects a healthy reassertion of his adult identity.
However, the failure to anticipate or proactively manage the privacy implications involving technology (the Ring camera) was a significant oversight. While the daughter should not have unrestricted access to monitor her father’s dating life, the father’s swift and punitive response—removing her access entirely—escalated the conflict unnecessarily. The daughter’s reaction, framing his dating as ‘disrespectful to her mom,’ stems from her difficulty processing her parents’ separation and loyalty conflicts, projecting that onto the OP’s current behavior.
The professional path forward involves clear, age-appropriate communication rather than unilateral enforcement. The OP should address the surveillance issue separately from the dating issue. He needs to establish firm boundaries about privacy (both his and hers) and potentially engage in mediated, calm conversations about his dating life—not seeking permission, but offering context appropriate for his daughters’ ages, thereby validating their feelings without surrendering his autonomy.
THE COMMENTS SECTION WENT WILD – REDDIT HAD *A LOT* TO SAY ABOUT THIS ONE.
The OP is currently in a position where he is asserting his autonomy as a single parent to pursue casual dating and intimacy, feeling justified in setting boundaries regarding his personal life when his daughters are not present. This stance directly conflicts with his older daughter’s perception that his behavior dishonors her mother and violates an assumed standard of respect within the newly structured family dynamic.
The core debate lies between the OP’s right to privacy and independent adult life post-divorce versus the daughter’s expectations regarding parental conduct and loyalty to the family unit, even one that is legally dissolved. Is the OP justified in removing his daughter’s access to the security camera feed to protect his privacy, or did his actions cross a line regarding the sensitivity of the situation?
