The individual has long felt disconnected from their family because their interests do not align with the family’s preferences, such as board games, video games, fantasy, or science fiction. They note that they tried to fit in when they were younger, but their family members, including their brother, often mocked their interests, with their parents doing nothing to stop it.
The dynamic was highlighted when the individual’s friend’s mother took them to the Eras tour, while their own mother laughed at their outfit pictures. After getting into a school in New York City and moving there, the individual felt more accepted by their new friends than they ever had at home. However, a recent phone call with their mother about their exciting first Christmas plans in NYC ended when the mother seemed completely uninterested, leading the individual to confront the lack of genuine care they feel from their family.
AITA for telling my Mom that it was very obvious they never liked me, and that’s it’s good we don’t have to pretend anymore?
As renowned family therapist Dr. Terri Givens states, “When a child consistently receives messages that their authentic self is not valued, they begin to internalize that they are inherently flawed or unlovable, even if the parents claim to love them.”
The situation described involves a clear pattern of invalidation and emotional neglect from the family unit. The OP’s attempts to share positive experiences—from concerts to new life milestones in NYC—were met with ridicule or indifference, which serves as a constant confirmation of their existing belief that they do not fit in. The parents’ reaction to the OP moving away (e.g., planning to convert the room immediately) suggests an underlying desire for distance or perhaps an inability to support a path outside their expectations. The OP’s confrontation, while emotionally charged, was a necessary act of self-preservation to stop pretending that the relationship was mutually supportive.
The OP’s actions in confronting the reality of the relationship were appropriate given the sustained pattern of emotional abuse through dismissal and mockery. Moving away was a healthy step toward establishing boundaries. Moving forward, the OP should focus on nurturing the supportive relationships they have found. If future contact with the family occurs, it should be established with firm boundaries regarding topics that elicit ridicule, focusing only on superficial interactions until the parents demonstrate a genuine willingness to respect the OP’s identity.
REDDIT USERS WERE STUNNED – YOU WON’T BELIEVE SOME OF THESE REACTIONS.
The original poster (OP) has reached a breaking point after years of feeling unliked and actively mocked by their family for their interests, culminating in the realization that their mother showed zero interest in their new life. The central conflict lies between the OP’s need for acceptance and validation, which they are finally finding elsewhere, and the family’s consistent pattern of dismissal, which they now frame as a lack of love, not just difference of opinion.
The OP believes their family is happy they left and that they have found a better support system in New York City, leading to the question of whether they are wrong for confronting their parents about never truly liking them, especially since the parents accuse them of suddenly thinking they are too good for the family.
