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AITA for Telling My In-Laws they can no longer keep our kids?

by Jane Smith
October 16, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 8 mins read
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A mother’s heart shatters when the sanctuary she builds for her child is shattered by those she trusted most. Navigating the delicate world of raising a child with autism, she fights daily to protect her son’s fragile sense of security, only to have her boundaries dismissed and her love questioned.

The crushing moment came when her youngest, overwhelmed and in pain, was met not with kindness but with cold indifference, leaving him in tears and sensory overload. In that silence, a mother’s fierce protectiveness ignited, demanding respect for her son’s needs and the unwavering care he deserves.

AITA for Telling My In-Laws they can no longer keep our kids?

Hey everyone, I (31F) am a mom to two awesome...

My in-laws have been helping out by babysitting on occasion....

They've given him foods he's allergic to and let them...

I tried talking to them about it, but they just...

When I picked up the boys my youngest was really...

After some questioning, I put together that my youngest had...

Apparently, my in-laws told him he was fine and to...

They continued to let him lose his mind, telling him...

This approach is completely the opposite of what he needs...

With confidence, my mother-in-law said, "Well that's correct, but he's...

Were trying to toughen him up is all." I without...

If they want to see the kids, they're welcome to...

They got really mad and said I was being ungrateful...

I question about being the a$s because I didn't run...

so maybe I reacted without thinking but should I have...

What do you think of this story?





AFTER THIS STORY DROPPED, REDDIT WENT INTO MELTDOWN MODE – CHECK OUT WHAT PEOPLE SAID.

brainybrink Your in laws are literally traumatizing your kids.

Not just your youngest, but your older child that it...

whose routines he knows should be abided by and his...

Why on Earth would they ever get another chance to...

but he needs to be the one taking that to...

He is not their son first, he is their father...

If he doesn't get that then he shouldn't be allowed...

Cafein8edNecromancer NTA! He's FIVE! He's also autistic, but NO 5...

The entire reason there are so many people in your...

OUR parents insisted on trying to make us "tough" instead...

first time,

sometimes being overwhelmed and overstimulated by them because there was...

disorder DOESN'T mean they aren't experiencing things in a way...

Your in laws can either accept that autistic people need...

and that YOU are the parents and therefore get to...

or they will not have access to your children in...

cla*s="comment_author">MameDennis1974: NTA. Your autistic child has a medical condition. Their...

If your husband backs them? I'd be sending him back...

Weekly-Lie9099 Ask them if they would take away an elderly...

use their legs. As a parent to a special needs...

If they were so concerned about his coping sk**ls they...

then later on talk to you and ask what they...

Significant_Rule_855 Holy f**king h**l your in-laws are a*sholes.

My son is 7, autistic and also has a blanket...

When he's upset I make sure he has access to...

If he wants them taken with us when we go...

Before his diagnosis my parents thought I coddled him too...

Once we got the official diagnosis that stopped immediately, they...

Now they make sure he has all his comfort items...

Routine is CRUCIAL for kids, especially those with autism.

The fact they're not willing to even attempt following it...

I cannot imagine how your poor son felt when people...

Blankets are NORMAL at that age even for children who...

Those items can bring so much comfort. No one should...

just want to mention,

in case you didn't know because I sure didn't until...

a much higher intensity than others do. My son is...

Falling and getting a bruise where most kids would get...

I get a lot of nasty looks from other parents...

but I know it affects him much more than it...

too.

No_Stage_6158 Your in-laws sound like the type who will tell...

can be forced to be like everyone else.Protect your kids,...

boosquad NTA as an autistic adult that needs comfort items...

thank you for sticking up for your son's needs. Your...

Puffing-Panda So my husband is on my side and says...

just upset I didn't tell him first because he would...

star_b_nettor NTA And I was very glad to read that...

correcting his parents off your shoulders as to why why...

It is up to you and their dad if you...

teach other coping types. To be honest, you gave more...

After the first time feeding a known allergy, unsupervised visits...

The TV shows I would have overlooked as something that...

questionable choice. But they've established a pattern of ignoring what...

so the shows are just the icky white dot on...

Fancy_Box_3916 NTA I'm trying to get my head round -...

Even without autism you don't yell at 5 year olds...

I'm a grandma- please dont give these horrors unsupervised access...

After reading through the Reddit comments, it’s clear that many sympathize with the mom’s position and stress the importance of respecting the needs and routines of children, especially those with autism. Most commenters agree that the in-laws were dismissive and negligent, putting the child’s well-being at risk. Several suggest setting firmer boundaries or limiting babysitting duties unless the in-laws can commit to following the necessary care plans.

In my opinion, the mom’s concerns are valid and her efforts to protect her son should be respected. Autism requires understanding and patience, and ignoring established routines can cause real distress and harm. The in-laws need to realize that what might seem like overprotectiveness to them is actually essential care for a vulnerable child. Ultimately, prioritizing the child’s health and emotional safety is the most important thing.

Jane Smith

Jane loves exploring new cultures and writing about travel and lifestyle.

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