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AITA for telling my dad’s parents to take care of dad’s affair baby if he needs a babysitter because I won’t?

by Emily Davis
October 20, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 6 mins read
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In the quiet aftermath of betrayal, a fractured family struggles to find footing amidst the rubble of broken trust. A father’s hidden life shatters the fragile bonds, leaving a mother to fight for her children’s safety and a home tainted by deceit. The siblings, young and wounded, retreat into silence, choosing distance over pain as they navigate the cold corridors of divorce and abandonment.

Yet even as they turn away from the father who once promised protection, the shadows of his actions stretch further—his wealthy parents now weaving a web of control and punishment, deepening the family’s fracture. In this painful limbo, a young boy faces the impossible: forced to maintain a fragile link to a man who has broken them all, caught between legal battles and the raw ache of rejection.

AITA for telling my dad’s parents to take care of dad’s affair baby if he needs a babysitter because I won’t?

My parents are getting a divorce. Six months ago we...

Dad was cheating, probably a lot and with a ton...

Dad ended up moving into a place owned by his...

We don't want to see him so we don't go.

My dad's parents were never very present in our lives...

It started when dad texted me and asked me to...

Apparently a judge wouldn't look at that in a good...

I ignored his texts and then his parents showed up...

They tried to argue but I said I won't be...

Dad texted some more, we've saved this and mom's lawyer...

Then his parents tried again and I told them I...

I said I don't and that's not changing. They told...

And I'm not going to do it for this one...

who's my sibling, and the kid will grow up wondering...

They also said I'd be paid for babysitting and that...

As renowned family therapist and researcher Dr. Terry Real explains, “The core issue in dysfunctional families is control. People exert control to manage their own anxiety and to control others so they won’t be abandoned or rejected.”

The situation described involves significant emotional turmoil stemming from the father’s betrayal. The OP, at 16, is exhibiting a necessary protective boundary by refusing contact with the father and his new family unit. The grandparents are overstepping clear boundaries, attempting to exert control over the OP’s time and emotional availability under the guise of ‘family unity.’ Their actions—showing up uninvited and attempting to incentivize caretaking with money—are coercive and ignore the very real trauma the OP is processing due to the father’s actions. The OP’s response, while blunt (referring to the child as the ‘affair baby’), stems from a desire to maintain agency in a situation where their trust has been completely broken by an adult.

The OP’s decision to maintain distance, especially while legal matters are pending, is appropriate for self-preservation. However, to mitigate future conflict and potential legal complications regarding custody perception, the OP should rely solely on their mother and her legal counsel to manage all communication regarding the father. The most constructive future action is to maintain the current boundary until the divorce is final, and then re-evaluate contact solely based on the OP’s emotional readiness, not external pressure from the grandparents.

What do you think of this story?





THE COMMENTS SECTION WENT WILD – REDDIT HAD *A LOT* TO SAY ABOUT THIS ONE.

rcranin018 Nope. NTA. You've got freedom of choice ... and...

RedSAuthor They are right: the kid is innocent. But it...

Turmeric_Ping NTA: NTA. Exactly as you say,

this kid is a stranger to you, and innocent or...

You have the right to decide who you have in...

iknowsomethings2 NTA. Stand your ground. They can babysit their grandchild...

HollieMatrix Block your grandparents and mute/ignore your dad. Tell your...

you're not the bad guy here. Your dad and his...

Like,

you're 16-you didn't sign up for a side gig as...

Your grandparents pulling the "but you'll get paid!" card is...

Babysitting isn't just about the money-it's about whether you actually...

The kid *is* innocent, sure, but that doesn't mean you're...

Stay firm, document everything for court, and don't let them...

No_C**kroach4248 Your grandparents are wealthy, they say they will pay...

why don't they just hire a babysitter or better still...

And a babysitter or nanny would be more qualified than...

NTA,

El_Culero_Magnifico I think your grandparents have ulterior motives: " the...

three half siblings won't even speak to them" Oh, I...

The divorce was bad enough, but for you to be...

As you pointed out, the wealthy grandparents can pay for...

since they seem to have as little interest in baby...

The original poster (OP) is currently navigating the severe emotional fallout of their father’s infidelity and subsequent divorce. The central conflict revolves around the OP’s firm decision, supported by their mother, to enforce distance from the father and his new child, directly opposing the wishes and insistence of the paternal grandparents who are trying to force familial involvement.

Given the context of betrayal and the OP’s strong need for self-protection, is the OP justified in refusing all contact and rejecting the grandparents’ demands to care for the new half-sibling, or are they acting unfairly by punishing an innocent child and damaging potential future family relationships?

Emily Davis

Emily writes heartfelt stories about family, parenting, and personal growth.

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