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AITA for “abandoning” my girlfriend and newborn son by going through SEAL training?

by John Doe
October 20, 2025
in Relationships
Reading Time: 8 mins read
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He endured the grueling crucible of BUD/S, a testament to relentless physical and mental fortitude, driven by a vision of a better future for himself and the family he hoped to build. Every ounce of pain and sacrifice was fueled by a promise to protect and provide, even as life’s unexpected turns threatened to unravel the path he had set.

When he learned of the pregnancy, a surge of hope and fear collided within him, shadowed by the harsh reality that duty would keep him away from the most sacred moments—birth and the fragile beginnings of a new life. The distance weighed heavily, a silent ache beneath the armor of discipline, as he faced the heart-wrenching absence from the very life he fought to secure.

AITA for “abandoning” my girlfriend and newborn son by going through SEAL training?

I (M23) and just got through BUD/S to become a...

physically and mentally, but I pushed through because I believed...

My girlfriend (21) and I had been together for 3...

I told her from the start that I wouldn't be...

Maybe she thought it wouldn't be that hard or maybe...

I wasn't there for any of it the hospital, the...

It hit me hard, but I had to compartmentalize and...

She's dealing with postpartum depression, overwhelmed, barely sleeping. Every time...

She tells me she's alone, that I left her to...

I talk her through whatever she needs. I've been sending...

That real men don't leave their families behind. Her dad...

I didn't walk away because I didn't care. I went...

I'm earning steady pay, full healthcare, housing, benefits everything I...

I wanted to be someone my son can look up...

But do I regret going through with it? No. I...

But some days, it feels like I'm the only one...

What do you think of this story?





THIS STORY SHOOK THE INTERNET – AND REDDITORS DIDN’T HOLD BACK.

2LostFlamingos Military makes a big distinction between wives and girlfriends...

live with you. I suggest you ask your leaders for...

OkBalance2879 IF True???

YTA: "I didn't want to be a part-time dad with...

big_bob_c with only money to offer. I'm sure you're child...

the scolding: Well, it's late now, but why TF didn't...

You would have health insurance for her, a housing allowance,...

If she is not getting proper treatment for PPD, help...

It's not like the Navy would just let go of...

you still wouldn't be home with her, and you would...

(I'm a*suming you guys get some special pay for balancing...

) The realities of military life result in a lot...

Missing the birth of your child is really, really tough...

I know a guy who had 3 kids, and was...

If you have any veterans or military spouses in your...

And congratulations on the birth of your son!

llamadramalover I'm curious how your **GIRLFRIEND** is benefiting from your...

housing and various other benefits you claim you're doing this...

So please for the love of everything stop denying that...

It was totally and utterly optional, you could have done...

Denying that it was optional and that you are in...

elizardbeth711 If you want to be a dad, make sure...

If you love this woman, marry her so she can...

LivinLikeHST She says she feels like I abandoned her and...

She tells me she's alone, that I left her to...

" - Truth hurts sometimes I "wanted a cool t*tle...

- That's pretty obvious YTA to her - but don't...

make enough the % taken out for child support shouldn't...

learn to use a condom though or this will happen...

cla*s="comment_author">DesperateToNotDream: ESH. On one hand,

you were doing what you felt you needed to do,...

You didn't *have* to go to SEAL school. You say...

But the fact is, you were already in Service..... *You...

Going through SEAL training doesn't get you "more" housing or...

You went SEAL because you wanted to, and while you're...

you are hiding behind moral high ground that you were...

It doesn't actually benefit them much.

ActualAd8091 Lol that you think a current SEAL is hanging...

jaynor88 GTFO with your 3 hour old account.: Future family?...

QuestionableCompany You have a family now.: NAH But you also...

She is suffering from PPD, which can make things so...

She needs to feel that you understand what she is...

At this very moment this is not going to help...

You need to emphasize to her that you care about...

Isn't there some kind of leave for when your kid...

There is no way you could not go home to...

You must push her to get professional help for that....

So apparently, since OP didn't bother marrying his gf before...

she and his son sees absolutely none of the benefits...

No wonder she feels abandoned and insecure, which is only...

They should have prepared better and married before he left....

They really should have done some more research before making...

But since he is the one who is in the...

he should have known about the restrictions on benefits and...

The Reddit community overwhelmingly empathized with the original poster, recognizing the immense sacrifice and dedication required to complete BUD/S training and serve as a SEAL. Many commenters applauded his commitment to his future family and his country, while also acknowledging the emotional toll of missing such a pivotal moment like the birth of his child. Some advised open communication and mutual support between him and his girlfriend to navigate the challenges ahead, emphasizing that building a strong foundation now would benefit their growing family in the long run.

Reflecting on the story, it’s clear that balancing personal dreams and family responsibilities can be incredibly difficult, especially in demanding careers like military service. The poster’s perseverance and sense of duty are commendable, but it also highlights the importance of cherishing and making the most of the moments one can share with loved ones. Ultimately, with understanding and effort from both partners, they can overcome these obstacles and create a supportive environment for their child’s upbringing.

John Doe

John is a seasoned writer with a passion for storytelling and technology.

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