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AITA for being disappointed in my siblings gender?

by Jane Smith
October 20, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 11 mins read
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In a home woven tightly by the threads of shared struggles and sacrifices, a young woman stands at the crossroads of expectation and love. Since childhood, she has been more than a sister—she has been a guardian, a steady hand guiding her younger siblings through a storm her mother could barely weather. When the news of a fifth child arrived, hope flickered in her heart for a brother, a new chapter she longed to embrace, yet the weight of disappointment struck deep, unspoken and raw.

But in the fragile space between joy and sorrow, misunderstanding ignited a fierce rift. The mother, battling her own tempest of emotions, lashed out with words that cut like knives, branding the daughter’s honest grief as ingratitude. What was meant to be a moment of family unity shattered, leaving a silence heavy with pain and unspoken truths—where love strains under the burden of unmet hopes and the complex dance of forgiveness begins.

AITA for being disappointed in my siblings gender?

Last week my mum had a small, intimate gender reveal...

my other sisters are 17, 5, and 3. Since I...

my mum has had a really rough time but has...

as exhausted as I am I thought maybe this would...

I've raised 3 girls so far and I was hoping...

I had a bit of a cry and quickly got...

She called me an ungrateful c*nt and said I was...

Long story short I've been told I am not allowed...

my 17 year old sister can drive but obviously goes...

allowed to do this so that's fine and I'm happy...

I've not had a moment of silence from my mother...

Also I'm very sorry if this was written badly, I...

UPDATE: I spoke to multiple family members, including my stepdad....

I also spoke to my mother about what I have...

I spoke to both a lawyer and a therapist, I'm...

The lawyer was more as a way of making sure...

She stopped calling me names and instead just told me...

I refused because I honestly was scared for her wellbeing...

I want to make this very clear). We spoke about...

I let her know 17 is moving in with me...

If she hasn't taken her meds or doesn't pull herself...

don't want her to take advantage of the fact that...

we've also agreed he will keep his job but be...

I know this isn't the greatest outcome for me but...

Unfortunately because of this I have had to break my...

place for us. I'm going to be looking for places...

My grandparents are quite old so they can't really do...

I want to say thank you to everyone for their...

it was the idea of raising another baby and giving...

What do you think of this story?





THE COMMENTS SECTION WENT WILD – REDDIT HAD *A LOT* TO SAY ABOUT THIS ONE.

sleddingdeer The gender reveal doesn't matter. What matters is that...

Your mom is and now she needs to raise her...

You and your older sis need to set up independent...

She is fully capable of raising her children and using...

Maybe one day you will have a little boy of...

But be clear now: you do not have another little...

Blushiba I'm more shocked at how casually you speak of...

Parents are supposed to raise ALL their children.

Nester1953 The bigger picture here is that your mother is...

and has her oldest child do the work for her....

As I see it, your gender disappointment is irrelevant to...

It is not OK for you, a 20 year old...

to be put in the position of caring for a...

Her children are her responsibility, not your responsibility. At 20,

you should have the opportunity to develop your own life,

not be a surrogate mother to a woman who won't...

Don't go back.

You have already devoted years of your life missing out...

It's enough. Your mother's reaction to your gender disappointment was...

I'm sorry,

but it wasn't the reaction of a well-balanced woman who...

And now she'll say anything to get you back so,...

You love them and you care about them, of course...

I think that you and your 17 year old sister...

should you choose to have them. And to do that,...

Let your mother figure out how to raise her own...

let her please stop having children she then makes other...

terrible parenting, and you, OP, who sound like a lovely,...

rose2000_ NTA: Hi I'm sorry this is happening,

I recommend researching parentification and getting into therapy if you...

Backgrounding-Cat Why on earth everyone thinks more kids is good...

Jazzlike-Bird-3192 NTA. You were hoping for a boy but got...

You had a cry then chose to be happy about...

Why is it your responsibility to raise your siblings? They...

Take her at her word. I'm sorry to be blunt,...

You do that. Time for mum to step up and...

Cool_Relative7359 Edited for spelling mistake: NTA. At all.

>I've not had a moment of silence from my mother...

I really don't know what to do. Block her.

After sending a text: "you don't seem to know how...

so I'm blocking you for a week. If I unblock...

I'm instantly blocking your number again for another week. And...

You kicked me out of the house because you didn't...

You kicked me out over a *feeling* and told me...

But that wasnt what you actually wanted. You wanted an...

Now you're mad, not because you feel bad about what...

That's on you. You can't expect people to do you...

Your kids are your responsibility, they should have never been...

so I suggest you figure out some other form of...

Fearless_Spring5611 I've been raising your kids since I was 5....

your feelings are valid - and there are a lot...

It seems clear that your mother is expecting you to...

so I think there's more here than just disappointment at...

your life to care for a kid that isn't yours....

Give your sisters the invite to come to yours if...

just visit and be sisters - it's really good to...

just starting to sort out your own adulthood now. That...

As for your mother, I get the feeling there is...

It sounds like she may need some support in looking...

nurseries/afterschool clubs etc. She needs to sort this shit herself,

she's a grown-up and needs to act like the parent...

but there's nothing wrong with you making a silent referral...

But keeping low-contact right now will give you the get-out...

Training_Winner3659 Parentification is a form of a**se. Your reaction to...

You being a parent since age 5 is. I don't...

Get out and stay out. Be a sister, not a...

Otherwise_Degree_729 Go live your life, you've earned it.: NTA. Use...

Your mother shouldn't be having kids if she can't raise...

Your sister is 17 years old and moving her shit...

Your "mother" shouldn't be allowed to have children regardless of...

That's too many for most people to manage without support....

After reading through the Reddit comments, it’s clear that many people empathize with the original poster’s feelings of gender disappointment. While it’s understandable to hope for a specific outcome, especially after raising multiple siblings of the same gender, the key takeaway is the importance of processing those emotions privately and compassionately. The mother’s harsh reaction was seen by many as unfair and unproductive, as it only fueled more tension rather than fostering understanding within the family.

In my opinion, this situation highlights the complexity of family dynamics when expectations and emotions collide. It’s natural to have hopes and dreams about a new family member, but expressing disappointment in a way that hurts others can damage relationships. Ultimately, the focus should shift towards supporting each other and celebrating the new baby for who she is, rather than the gender she was born with.

Jane Smith

Jane loves exploring new cultures and writing about travel and lifestyle.

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