A woman’s fiancé took advantage of her recent pay boost and put pressure on her to pay for their friends’ and his’ dinner out. Feeling irritated, she quietly left the restaurant, leaving him to pay the unpaid check.
The woman’s fiancé had a habit of manipulating her understanding of her financial obligations. He took advantage of their dining out experiences with friends to demand that she pay the tab.
She described her situation and asked for feedback on how she should respond to his demands in a Reddit post. Her fiancé refused to have a joint account, therefore she kept her funds apart during their relationship.
She was paid thirty percent more than he was after a raise five months into their engagement. Her fiancé has been suggesting she should pay for him and his friends ever since the rise. “Why do I have to pay every time?” she would inquire. “Due to the 30%,” he would counter.
She believed that because of his actions, she was not deserving of the increase and that he was unfairly holding it against her.
Her fiancé liked to go out to eat with friends, inviting her frequently and then making her pay the entire cost in public.
Usually non-aggressive, she would grudgingly consent to pay in order to prevent conflict. Still, she hit her breaking point one evening. She made it clear in advance that she would not be paying when she consented to supper. He told her that he would take care of it.
Everything went well over dinner until he leaned in and demanded that she cover the cost for everyone. She firmly rejected, seeming angry.
He brashly declared, “You can afford to cover everyone’s meal, remember the 30%?” knowing she hated public settings.
Furious, she recognized her opportunity as soon as the divided bills were set down on the table. After paying for her meal and excused herself to use the restroom, she slipped out of the restaurant and headed home. Her fiancé began pestering her phone shortly after, wanting to know where she was.
He became enraged at home after she questioned him about being forced to pay for others on many occasions, which he disregarded. Calling her “selfish, irrational, cheapskate, and childish,” he insulted her and communicated his friends’ displeasure, raising doubts about his future marital decisions.
Reddit Offers Opinions
She ultimately thought that her actions were justifiable, but because of her fiancé’s severe reaction, she sought outside confirmation. Supportive Reddit users called attention to her fiancé’s deceptive actions and suggested that she think again about the engagement for her own wellbeing.
Was the woman correct to leave the restaurant surreptitiously? In her position, how would you respond?
Talk about your ideas.