For five relentless years, a solitary coffee addict navigated the demanding world of STEM, clinging to the comfort of her trusty, secondhand coffee makers while surrounded by tea and soda drinkers. Her daily ritual was more than a caffeine fix—it was a lifeline, a quiet rebellion against the fatigue and isolation that often shadow the pursuit of a PhD in medical research.
Then came Anne, a seasoned postdoctoral associate whose friendly demeanor masked the challenging undercurrents of their collaboration. Their worlds collided not just through shared workspaces, but through the unspoken tensions of experience, age, and ambition—setting the stage for a story of resilience, perseverance, and the complex human dynamics woven into scientific discovery.
WIBTA: Taking my coffee maker with me when I leave my current job
As renowned organizational psychologist Dr. Tasha Eurich explains, ‘Self-awareness is knowing what is really going on for us in the present moment.’ In this situation, the OP is highly self-aware regarding their coworker Anne’s negative impact—noticing the superiority complex, dismissive behavior, and distracting communication habits, which led to the OP adopting a hybrid work schedule.
The coffee maker itself functions as a physical manifestation of the boundary issue. For three years, it represented the OP’s self-sufficiency. When Anne began using it excessively, admitting to dropping her home coffee routine, she essentially claimed shared ownership over a personal asset. The OP’s desire to take the machine is not just about possession, but about reclaiming autonomy and asserting a final boundary against a colleague who consistently invaded personal space and diminished the OP’s professional standing. The pettiness mentioned is likely secondary to a valid desire to remove one small area of imposed reliance on a difficult person before exiting the environment.
The OP’s action of taking the machine would be appropriate given the context of the difficult working relationship. Anne has demonstrated a pattern of boundary infringement and entitlement regarding the OP’s time and resources. A constructive recommendation for future situations is to establish clear physical and conversational boundaries immediately upon introducing personal items into a shared space, perhaps by explicitly stating, ‘This is my personal machine for my use only,’ rather than waiting for dependency to form.
THIS STORY SHOOK THE INTERNET – AND REDDITORS DIDN’T HOLD BACK.
The original poster (OP) is facing a dilemma regarding whether to take a personal, older coffee maker upon leaving their PhD program, especially since a difficult colleague, Anne, has become dependent on it. The conflict centers on the OP’s desire to be generous versus a feeling of resentment stemming from Anne’s challenging workplace behavior and perceived lack of respect.
If the OP takes the machine, they prioritize their own comfort and slight retribution for past frustrations; if they leave it, they act graciously despite Anne’s negative contributions. Does the OP’s right to reclaim personal property outweigh the impact of removing a convenient resource from a colleague who has otherwise made the work environment unpleasant?
