She had dreamed of this moment for years—discovering she was pregnant with the man she thought she loved, a partner she trusted deeply. After nearly a decade together, the joy of new life filled her heart with hope and excitement, believing they were building a future rooted in love and commitment.
But beneath the surface, betrayal was quietly unraveling everything. The stolen money, secret accounts, and cruel words hidden in messages shattered her world, revealing a truth more painful than she ever imagined. The man she loved was planning to abandon her and their unborn child, leaving her to face a heartbreaking reality alone.
Was it wrong to get an abortion after i found out my boyfriend cheated on me
As renowned psychologist Dr. Harriet Lerner explains, “When we are in a relationship with someone who is deceptive, the primary boundary violation is the destruction of trust, which is the bedrock of any partnership.”
The situation presented involves significant emotional labor and financial exploitation masked by a facade of a committed relationship. The boyfriend’s actions—siphoning joint funds, maintaining secret sexual relationships, and actively planning abandonment while framing the pregnancy as a ‘trap’—demonstrate a severe lack of integrity and emotional maturity. The OP’s discovery shattered the perceived reality of her eight-year relationship, leading to an acute crisis. Her decision to terminate the pregnancy, while causing personal grief and regret, can be viewed as a preemptive measure to avoid subjecting a child to a life where one parent was actively hostile and planning to exit, and where the remaining parent would face single parenthood under extreme emotional distress.
The boyfriend’s subsequent reaction—furious accusations and insults—is a classic manifestation of narcissistic injury and a refusal to take responsibility for his own destructive behavior. The OP’s actions were appropriate given the catastrophic breach of trust and the impossibility of co-parenting honorably with someone who already despised the situation. Moving forward, the OP should prioritize establishing firm communication boundaries (ideally through legal or mediated channels if necessary) and focusing solely on her own emotional recovery, recognizing that her choice was made under duress created entirely by her former partner’s deceit.
HERE’S HOW REDDIT BLEW UP AFTER HEARING THIS – PEOPLE COULDN’T BELIEVE IT.
The original poster (OP) is experiencing deep emotional turmoil, oscillating between the shock of betrayal and the pain of a difficult choice. Her central conflict lies between her desire to protect herself and her unborn child from a toxic, deceitful partner, and the deep regret she feels over the decision to terminate the pregnancy, which she viewed as necessary under the circumstances created by her boyfriend.
Given the revelation of the boyfriend’s active deception, plans to leave, and public denigration of the OP and the child, was the OP’s decision to have an abortion a justifiable act of self-preservation and ethical protection for the potential child, or did her boyfriend’s actions, however wrong, remove her right to choose the path of continuation?
