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AITA for telling my daughter that I absolutely do not support her ONLY wanting to be a Stay-At-Home-Mom?

by Emily Davis
October 30, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 8 mins read
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A mother watches with growing concern as her teenage daughter dreams of a future confined solely to being a stay-at-home mom, rejecting education and self-sufficiency. The daughter’s unwavering plan leaves the mother fearful, not just for her daughter’s independence, but for the safety net that may never be there when life takes an unexpected turn.

Despite heartfelt warnings and offers of alternative paths, the daughter clings to a fragile fallback: reliance on her parents for survival. This stark reality forces the mother to confront the painful truth that love alone cannot shield her child from the harsh uncertainties of the future.

AITA for telling my daughter that I absolutely do not support her ONLY wanting to be a Stay-At-Home-Mom?

I don't have a problem with the idea of parents...

What I have a problem with is my teenage daughter...

As in, no college, no jobs, no certifications, nothing at...

But that she needs to do *something* to start making...

Her feedback was that her backup plan was me and...

I told her then, what happens if we die, or...

" I told her bluntly that I don't want her...

I emphasized that again, it *does not need to be...

She can start working as a receptionist somewhere, she can...

With that all in mind, I asked her, when she...

" I asked her again, in between that time, how...

She could live at home if she gets a job...

But that if she insists on being a deadbeat loser...

As renowned researcher Dr. Brené Brown explains, “Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously.”

The situation highlights a significant conflict regarding autonomy and necessary scaffolding for adult life. The daughter’s plan relies entirely on external factors—a future spouse or her parents’ continued support—which represents a failure to establish personal boundaries of self-reliance. While the desire to be a SAHM is a valid life choice, that choice is only sustainable if one has a viable plan for unforeseen circumstances, such as the death or incapacitation of a spouse, or parental decline. The parent’s insistence that the daughter develop a baseline skill set or income stream is fundamentally an act of preparing her for independent survival, not undermining her goals.

The parent acted appropriately by setting firm conditions for continued residency and support (e.g., requiring a job or education), as this establishes a necessary boundary around dependency. A constructive recommendation for the future would be for the parent to shift the dialogue from ‘college vs. no college’ to skill acquisition. For instance, encouraging part-time work or a certification course (like bookkeeping or administrative skills) directly supports the SAHM goal by providing flexible, remote, or transitional income options, thus creating the crucial financial safety net the parent rightly seeks for their daughter.

What do you think of this story?





HERE’S HOW REDDIT BLEW UP AFTER HEARING THIS – PEOPLE COULDN’T BELIEVE IT.

thanudeastronomer NTA, her expectations for life are unrealistic.

You're doing your part as a parent and showing her...

raredomme NTA. Listen to me please, this is a recipe...

I was a SAHM (step kid). I had no money...

When I left after he r**ed me I had a...

I had $150 that I had hidden from him by...

She NEEDS a way out if her husband hits her.

I met so many women at the domestic violence shelter...

Even encouraging her to get an early childhood development degree...

Something to help her not be reliant on someone else....

Teach her about gaslighting, love bombing, and other manipulation techniques...

Show her [the hotline](https: //www.thehotline.org/is-this-a**se/a**se-defined/) and [love is respect ](https:...

org) If so much of her life plan is dependent...

But at the beginning of any relationship, especially abusive ones,...

Edit: Since this is getting so much attention,

if you have any questions about domestic violence or if...

The Hotline is wonderful or even if you want to...

acreativeaccountant NTA. In high school, I also wanted to be...

Unfortunately, that's not where my life took me. I'm 33,...

She really needs to make a plan to be able...

AliceJust I'd strongly steer her toward culinary arts and the...

Many of those sk**ls transfer over to being a good...

even if the husband and kids thing doesn't happen right...

I'm a stay- at home mom 5 days a week,...

And it's very similar to what I do at home....

I barely needed any training lol.

Vallaris24 NTA I'll admit I was ready to say you...

There is nothing wrong with being a stay at home...

That's how you get into abusive situations when you are...

I may not have a college degree but I do...

Also her back up plan of just falling back on...

inreallife12001 NTA at all. Your daughter's path in life is...

I think the guidelines you have set up for her...

She should have some experience, whether it's college or a...

Ermithecow to help set her up for success: NTA.

She needs a back up plan because she's setting herself...

I'm a*suming from what you've said she doesn't currently have...

so can I ask where she thinks she's going to...

of the d**n house and meet people? Her plan is...

imo, she doesn't want a "happy marriage," she wants someone...

The fact she activity wants to marry military shows how...

partner will be around the home least! Plus,

military guys are wise to this sort of thing -...

military just to say they have/to get the benefits get...

but that is sadly the reality of what she would...

we have to get married asap,

and I'll have a couple of kids in return for...

be avoided anyway as he won't want a wife, he...

She needs to be able to provide for herself. She...

not just an extension of her parents and potential husband....

or cheats on her, or turns out to be an...

The parent is deeply concerned about their daughter’s complete lack of independent financial planning, viewing the daughter’s sole focus on becoming a stay-at-home mother (SAHM) without any personal support structure as a massive risk. The central conflict lies between the parent’s desire to ensure the daughter has lifelong security and self-sufficiency versus the daughter’s belief that relying completely on future marriage or parental backup is a viable, risk-free plan.

Is the parent correct in enforcing boundaries that require the daughter to secure basic employment or education before leaving home, even if it means being labeled unreasonable, or is the daughter entitled to pursue her chosen life path without immediate financial prerequisites from her parents?

Emily Davis

Emily writes heartfelt stories about family, parenting, and personal growth.

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