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AITA for telling my sister the only reason her BF is with her is because of his f***sh .

by Michael Lee
November 8, 2025
in Aita, Family
Reading Time: 8 mins read
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Growing up in a household shadowed by obesity, two sisters find themselves on vastly different paths—one striving for transformation and self-love through fitness and change, the other rooted in acceptance and resistance to societal pressures. Their bond is tested by unspoken judgments and conflicting values, as the younger sister embraces a new identity while the older one clings to a different truth about beauty and worth.

Caught between love and resentment, their relationship fractures further when the world outside cruelly highlights their differences. Harsh whispers and stares at bars become battlegrounds for their insecurities, exposing raw emotions and unhealed wounds beneath the surface of sisterhood. In this struggle, both seek validation—one through change, the other through acceptance—desperately trying to find peace in a world that judges them both.

AITA for telling my sister the only reason her BF is with her is because of his fetish .

My sister (25f) and I (22f) grew up in the...

I grew up as a fat kid however when I...

I became a personal trainer last year and got a...

My sister was not very approving of my weight loss...

While we get along wonderfully most of the time we...

My sisters weight is around 300lb, I have offered her...

Frankly I dont care what she looks like I just...

When we have gone to bars people can be cruel...

I defend her when I see it but it still...

In Jan my boyfriend of 2 yrs cheated on me....

Around the time of the break up she started dating...

the way he looked at my sister when she ate...

Since then my sister has gained a ma*sive amount of...

Her boyfriend buys her large quant*ties of unhealthy food and...

They dont talk and just watch tv, she hasnt met...

About a month ago I had a friend over, this...

I didnt want to bring it up with my sis...

I recently downloaded multiple dating apps and my sister like...

I showed her and she immediatly said the only reason...

She then told me I might be more sucessful if...

get men who want them just for their looks.

This angered me to the point where I told my...

the people in his life. My sister has refused to...

As renowned researcher Dr. Brené Brown explains, “Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously.” This situation highlights a severe breakdown in relational boundaries, stemming from differing values regarding physical appearance and health. The OP has undergone significant personal transformation, which the sister perceives as vanity, leading to resentment and passive-aggressive behavior, such as attributing the OP’s breakup to being ‘too high maintenance.’

The sister’s current relationship dynamic is concerning. Her boyfriend’s behavior—encouraging weight gain, displaying excessive physical contact, isolating her from his social circle, and the potential link to a feeder website—suggests a relationship rooted in control and gratification of a fetish rather than mutual respect and care for her health. The OP’s motivation for revealing this information appears rooted in concern (protecting her sister from exploitation), but the delivery method (confrontation during a conflict) triggered a defensive reaction from the sister, who may be using her relationship as a shield against the perceived judgment regarding her weight.

The OP’s action, while potentially protective, was highly confrontational and bypassed trust, leading to immediate rejection from both her sister and parents. A more constructive approach would have involved sharing the external evidence privately with her sister first, focusing solely on observable behavioral concerns (isolation, feeding habits) rather than labeling the boyfriend or the fetish directly. Moving forward, the OP needs to establish a boundary that centers on her own concerns for her sister’s health, while accepting that she cannot force her sister to change her choices.

What do you think of this story?





THE COMMENTS SECTION WENT WILD – REDDIT HAD *A LOT* TO SAY ABOUT THIS ONE.

potsieharris NTA. Your intentions were good and this guy is...

However, you gotta respect that your sister is an adult...

All you can do is show her the proof from...

and you'll always be there for her. You could approach...

(Telling her her bf "is only with her" because of...

) Telling someone to break up with their SO -...

much NEVER works, no matter who is right. She's going...

Say your piece, make peace, and try to keep a...

loc_nessmonster0 NTA.... you definitely could've been more delicate in bringing...

as during an argument was the wrong move but you...

She needs to see the proof (the screenshot of him...

Nox-Avis on you is out of line: ESH.

Your sister is clearly extremely insecure and probably jealous of...

I'm sure you are very aware of how hard it...

She shouldn't be saying things like that to you, but...

Do you actually know that he has a fetish or...

This does not mean he does not actually care for...

especially if they are not close with them. Unless you...

If you were truly concerned about this guys relationship with...

lemondagger not used as some sort of reb**tal.: ESH. It...

BUT you are a very soft AS.

I cant really blame you for lashing out after all...

It seems like she wants to put you down to...

She probably needs a doctor to scare sense into her....

SarasRiot NTA it's going to lead to more health problems...

Red415510 She needs to see a therapist to figure out...

You sister in insecure but hides it by claiming she...

UIUGrad NTA. As a big woman that has been fetishized...

I don't think she accepts her physical appearance as much...

To each their own in the fetish world, I'm not...

but this doesn't seem like a consensual feeder/eater relationship since...

She found someone she thinks accepts her as she is...

But she needs to realize there are men out there...

The original poster (OP) feels conflicted because her attempts to support her sister’s health have been met with hostility, especially after she confronted the sister’s new boyfriend about his potentially harmful fetish. The sister and parents believe the OP’s actions were malicious, focusing on the perceived insult rather than the underlying concern for the sister’s well-being and safety.

Is the OP justified in prioritizing her sister’s physical health and safety by revealing the boyfriend’s potential involvement in a feeder community, or was this intervention an unforgivable violation of trust that destroyed the relationship?

Michael Lee

Michael is a tech enthusiast sharing insights on software development and gadgets.

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