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AITA for installing cameras without telling my housemates?

by Alex Johnson
November 8, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 6 mins read
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In the quiet moments of shared living, trust can quickly unravel, leaving behind a trail of suspicion and silent frustration. A young woman finds herself caught in a relentless cycle of missing food and milk, each disappearance chipping away at the fragile peace within her shared home. Though she coexists with three other girls, the warmth of friendship is absent, replaced by an uneasy atmosphere thick with unspoken accusations.

Determined to uncover the truth, she takes a bold step to reclaim her sense of security and fairness. With a heavy heart but steady resolve, she sets up a hidden camera—an act born not of malice, but of desperation to restore order in a space that should feel like home. The story unfolds as a poignant reminder of how boundaries and respect are the pillars of coexistence, and what happens when those pillars start to crumble.

AITA for installing cameras without telling my housemates?

I (F20) live in a shared house with 3 other...

We have a shared fridge, where we have a shelf...

I see multiple times a week that a large portion...

I always believed it was Kate because 1.) She is...

Sara and Zoe both deny taking my stuff, but Kate...

I was complaining about it to my friend, and he...

I got one, placed it discreetly inside the fridge, and...

I showed her the footage, told her to never do...

She said how dare I put a camera in the...

I explained the camera only recorded the inside of the...

Zoe has sided with her and they're both calling me...

I said none of this would've happened if Kate hadn't...

As renowned researcher Dr. Brené Brown explains, “Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously.”

This situation presents a difficult clash between the right to property security and the right to privacy in a shared environment. Kate’s repeated theft of food is a clear violation of the shared living agreement and trust, often seen as a breach of implicit social contracts regarding shared space. Her defensiveness when confronted without proof suggests an awareness of wrongdoing. The OP’s decision to install a hidden camera, while effective in gathering undeniable proof, enters ethically gray territory regarding surveillance, especially in a shared dwelling. Even though the camera was aimed only at the food shelf, the act of covert recording without consent can severely damage trust, which is why Kate reacted strongly to the method, regardless of her actions.

While the OP was justified in seeking a resolution to the theft, installing a hidden camera without informing others is generally not the recommended first step in resolving roommate disputes, as it bypasses crucial communication channels. A more constructive approach might have involved setting a formal house meeting after initial denials, or installing a clearly marked, tamper-proof lockbox inside the shelf if the theft continued. The OP’s action, while rooted in frustration over being stolen from, escalated the conflict by introducing an element of secret monitoring, leading to the current breakdown in house harmony.

What do you think of this story?





THE COMMENTS SECTION WENT WILD – REDDIT HAD *A LOT* TO SAY ABOUT THIS ONE.

TwoCentsPsychologist NTA Kate: "How dare you procure evidence of my...

This is an outrage!!" Do NOT apologize. You should insist...

[Great advice from u/Piemanthe3rd [below](https: //www.reddit.com/r/AmItheA*shole/comments/rvxfpb/comment/hr8x65z/?

Talentless67 utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) [Edit: Small typos]: NTA,

this is normal behaviour for someone caught doing something wrong...

From your point of view, all the other house mates...

Total-Being-4278 which is a real reason not to feel safe...

Kate, for stealing your food, for sure. AH slam dunk...

I don't think you can place a camera in someone's...

alerionkemperil ESH.

Telling them about the camera would have only defeated the...

If your goal were to stop the thefts, it would...

Sk111W ESH You for secretly filming people in their own...

It is creepy, immoral and (depending on where you live)...

elderpricetag She is TA for stealing your food: ESH Yes...

but you also violated all of your roommates' privacy. You...

bmoreskyandsea and that likely would've been enough to stop Kate.:...

I know not a popular opinion but hear me out....

she was stealing and got caught and she's an AH...

You live with all girls, it is 100% probable that...

especially at times no one else is around or everyone...

Maybe I'm sensitive to it because I had an ex...

but you don't film someone in their own home without...

The original poster (OP) felt distressed and financially burdened by their housemate Kate stealing food and milk from the shared fridge. The central conflict arose when the OP used a hidden camera to obtain proof of the theft, which Kate reacted to with extreme anger, shifting the focus from the original theft to the perceived invasion of privacy caused by the recording device.

Was the OP justified in installing a hidden camera inside a shared fridge to stop ongoing theft, or did this action violate necessary boundaries of trust and privacy within a shared living space? Should the severity of the initial theft warrant the extreme surveillance measure used?

Alex Johnson

Alex is an expert in finance and often shares tips on managing personal money.

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