A lifetime of silent struggles finally found a name when she paid a heavy price to uncover the truth hidden in her past. The revelation of her autism and ADHD diagnoses, though empowering and necessary, came with a bitter sting—$2300 spent out of pocket, a financial burden borne alone, only to discover that the answers were always within reach, concealed by those who should have protected her.
Betrayed by the very people meant to guide her, she faced the painful reality that her parents had known all along, choosing secrecy over honesty. Their desire to shield her from difference only deepened her isolation, leaving scars etched by years of bullying and misunderstanding. Now, standing at the crossroads of healing and justice, she demands recognition—not just of her conditions, but of the cost of silence and denial.
AITA for asking my parents to reimburse me for the money I wasted getting a diagnosis I already had, because they withheld my medical information from me?
As renowned researcher Dr. Brené Brown explains, “Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously.” This situation highlights a severe breakdown in personal boundaries and medical autonomy, initiated by the parents’ decision to control sensitive medical information.
The parents’ motivation, described as wanting to ‘protect’ the OP from feeling ‘different,’ is a common, though often misguided, form of parental control rooted in fear of stigma. However, withholding diagnoses of neurodivergence for 14 years actively prevented the OP from receiving necessary support, accommodations, and self-understanding, instead fostering feelings of being a ‘freak’ and causing academic struggle. The OP’s current demand for reimbursement stems not just from financial need but from a deep sense of injustice regarding the control exerted over their personal medical narrative. The parents’ current reaction—dismissing the request and citing the diagnosis itself as the reason the OP cannot understand them—is a form of gaslighting that further invalidates the OP’s lived experience and attempts to shift blame.
From a professional standpoint, the OP’s request for reimbursement is reasonable because the parents’ specific action (withholding medical records) directly caused a measurable financial loss ($2300). While parents have discretion in early childhood medical care, withholding such defining information past the age of majority (18) is ethically questionable. A constructive recommendation for the future involves establishing clear boundaries regarding future medical information sharing and potentially seeking mediated communication to address the historical breach of trust before resolving the financial aspect.
THE COMMENTS SECTION WENT WILD – REDDIT HAD *A LOT* TO SAY ABOUT THIS ONE.
The original poster (OP) is experiencing significant frustration and financial stress because their parents withheld crucial medical diagnoses (autism and ADHD) made in childhood, forcing the OP to incur substantial personal costs for recent re-evaluation. The central conflict lies between the OP’s reasonable expectation for reimbursement due to preventable financial loss and the parents’ defensive stance, which frames their past secrecy as protective action rather than a harmful omission.
Is the OP justified in demanding financial reimbursement from their parents for the $2300 assessment fee, given that the parents’ decision to conceal prior diagnoses led directly to the OP incurring unnecessary medical expenses later in life, or do the parents’ intentions to ‘protect’ the child override the OP’s right to financial compensation for withheld medical history?
