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AITA for demanding my fiance to stop bathing for f**king hours on end because we only have one bathroom??

by Emily Davis
November 13, 2025
in Aita
Reading Time: 6 mins read
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In the quiet intimacy of their new shared home, a tension quietly simmered beneath the surface. What should have been a simple act of coexistence—a bathroom routine—became a battleground of unmet needs and clashing boundaries. One partner’s sanctuary of lengthy baths clashed painfully with the other’s urgent, everyday necessities, turning love into frustration.

When the night stretched on and patience wore thin, the unspoken lines between comfort and respect blurred dangerously. A simple knock on the bathroom door became a moment charged with raw emotion, revealing how even the smallest spaces can hold the biggest conflicts in a relationship.

AITA for demanding my fiance to stop bathing for fucking hours on end because we only have one bathroom??

I (25m) recently got a new place with my fiance...

My fiance f**king loves bathing, and would oftentimes spend hours...

he'd spend close to 4 hours in the bathtub. I...

I've tried asking him to shorten his bathing time and...

keep the door unlocked so I can just p**s when...

yesterday, this whole thing came to a head. he was...

so I knocked on the door and asked if he...

he told me that he wasn't "anywhere near done" (he's...

He later came out and said the bathroom was free...

he then asked if I picked him up anything while...

the store, and that I just p**sed in the kitchen...

He got really angry at that and called me disgusting...

so I snapped back and said, "I don't give a...

He called me an a*shole, and went to stay with...

As renowned researcher Dr. Brené Brown explains, “Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously.” In this scenario, the fiancé’s four-hour bathing sessions represent a failure to establish functional, mutual boundaries within the shared living space, prioritizing personal relaxation over the immediate physiological needs of his partner.

The OP’s initial attempts at negotiation—asking for shorter times or an unlocked door—were reasonable requests for cohabitation management. The fiancé’s rejection of the unlocked door, citing discomfort with the OP using the toilet nearby, reveals a self-centered approach to privacy that ignores the practical limitations of their current housing situation. The OP’s eventual act of urinating in the sink, while objectively unhygienic, was a direct, albeit inappropriate, behavioral response to feeling completely disregarded and physically unable to meet a basic bodily function.

The fiancé’s anger over the sink incident, contrasted with his own excessive use of the shared resource, demonstrates a clear double standard and a lack of accountability. Moving forward, the OP should avoid extreme actions like using inappropriate plumbing. Instead, constructive communication must focus on setting firm, time-bound limits for bathroom usage, perhaps facilitated by a neutral third party if necessary, as the current pattern of behavior is unsustainable for a healthy partnership.

What do you think of this story?





THIS STORY SHOOK THE INTERNET – AND REDDITORS DIDN’T HOLD BACK.

lihzee NTA.

It is unreasonable that you're expected to go to the...

I'm not sure this is a tenable living situation if...

anonysmen NTA, your fiancé is an inconsiderate jerk.

If someone told me to go walk somewhere to pee,...

Not to mention literally just leaving the door unlocked solves...

Also, newsflash, everyone pees, I don't know why you peeing...

perhapsnew NTA >went to stay with his moms for the...

Occupying one bathroom for hours and denying you access to...

ttoastii81 NTA, why does he need to bathe for so...

he's just sitting in his own filth with those numbers....

he's already hogging up the only bathroom/washroom and then when...

does this dude even care about you?? why does he...

AnthonyCumiaPedo and it's all completely fine with him? your fiance...

Major red flag that it's all about him.

HE needs his 4 hour bathtime and HE needs you...

Melancholy_Macaroni It is highly doubtful this selfishness will fix itself.:...

he's inconsiderate and honestly just plum dumb.

You can have s*x with someone and want to marry...

Seriously my bf takes ten minute showers and even if...

sally_marie_b NTA - (1) expecting you to leave your house...

(2) holding in urine is extremely bad for you and...

Because I've had over 20 of the f**kers and am...

(3) soaking in a bath for that long is really...

(4) If he can put his tongue in your mouth...

The original poster (OP) faced a serious daily conflict stemming from his fiancé’s excessive bathing habits, which severely restricted access to their single shared bathroom, leading to significant physical discomfort and frustration for the OP.

When pushed to a breaking point, the OP chose a desperate measure by using the kitchen sink, escalating the conflict into a major argument about personal boundaries and hygiene expectations. The core question remains: Was the fiancé’s monopolization of the bathroom justifiable, or did the OP’s extreme reaction outweigh the initial frustration?

Emily Davis

Emily writes heartfelt stories about family, parenting, and personal growth.

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