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AITA for removing access to certain things for my roommate that refuses to pay rent?

by Emily Davis
January 2, 2026
in Aita
Reading Time: 7 mins read
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Beneath the weight of unpaid bills and broken promises, one tenant bears the heavy burden of responsibility, standing alone as the sole leaseholder and head of household. Each late fee and unpaid rent is a silent testament to her struggle, as she strives to maintain order and stability amid the chaos brought by a roommate who refuses to contribute or respect the rules.

The presence of children and the tangled web of absent fathers complicate an already strained living situation, where trust is shattered and boundaries are ignored. Despite warnings and attempts at resolution, defiance and disregard have turned a shared space into a battleground, leaving one person to fight for fairness and peace in a home that no longer feels like her own.

AITA for removing access to certain things for my roommate that refuses to pay rent?

I'm the only one on the lease and the head...

I have a "roommate" that moved in last August to...

She has 3 kids (between the ages of 3 and...

which I'm often not made aware when they're coming to...

She lost her job shortly after moving in and have...

In October I gave her a 30 day notice which...

After the 30 days she stated that she wasn't going...

Since then these are the following actions that have been...

to which she has complained about to our other roommate...

To which she stated "I saw this coming but this...

We paid for them and whenever she did the dishes...

Removal of the microwave after telling her multiple times to...

She eventually got her own plates and microwave in her...

Install cameras in our rooms as some small items have...

refused to find work or follow the rules, has more...

and we had to have a fourth roommate move in...

I believe that when you have kids they are entirely...

Due to the kids being involved it has made me...

However they can't be used as a crutch to guilt...

So AITA for refusing access to certain things for the...

According to legal principles regarding tenancy and contract law, the primary leaseholder holds ultimate responsibility for the lease agreement, including rent payments, regardless of internal roommate arrangements. Furthermore, experts in housing law generally emphasize that an occupant who violates the terms of occupancy (such as non-payment) can typically be subject to eviction proceedings initiated by the primary leaseholder or landlord, provided proper legal notice is served.

The OP’s actions—removing WiFi access, taking kitchenware, and removing the microwave—while understandable given the extreme financial burden and lack of contribution, operate outside clear legal channels for eviction or dispute resolution and move into the realm of self-help remedies. Psychologically, the roommate is demonstrating a clear pattern of boundary violation, financial exploitation, and leveraging emotional manipulation (using the children) to maintain her housing stability at the OP’s expense. The OP’s hesitation stems from a moral conflict: balancing their financial protection against a perceived responsibility for the children’s well-being, which the roommate is actively exploiting.

The OP’s actions of restriction are understandable but risky, potentially leading to counter-claims or complicating formal eviction efforts later. A constructive recommendation involves immediately ceasing unilateral ‘self-help’ measures like removing shared items, as this can be viewed as harassment. Instead, the OP must focus exclusively on formal legal avenues: documenting all missed payments and rule violations, consulting a local tenant rights attorney or legal aid service immediately, and initiating formal eviction proceedings based solely on non-payment of rent, as this is the strongest legal ground available.

What do you think of this story?





THE COMMENTS SECTION WENT WILD – REDDIT HAD *A LOT* TO SAY ABOUT THIS ONE.

Forward-Dingo1431 NTA She's obviously a seasoned, habitual squatter.

It's a hard lesson to learn, but moving forward, know...

If you're worried about the kid(s), contact CPS and start...

She NEVER intended to pay you any money for anything,...

She's a grifter, and I wouldn't put anything past someone...

If you still have a while left on your lease,...

IceSensitive4563 NTA. not at all. Since you are disabled, this...

She is disgusting for taking advantage of you. Get adult...

Tell her whole family to come get her & the...

Good luck, use all the resources you have at your...

wrenwynn YTA for letting this drag on and creating the...

It doesn't make you "the head of the house". It...

It makes you their sugar daddy,

except you're not getting anything in exchange for your money...

Are you serious that your landlord doesn't care about 3...

That's so bizarre it's verging on unbelievable. But, the good...

Either give them notice for past rent and if they...

your apartment, or terminate the lease early and find a...

I imagine your landlord will suddenly care if you vacate...

melimineau Check the local laws where you live.

In my province, if a person shares a kitchen and/or...

you're basically subletting to her) they aren't protected like regular...

But again, check the legalities of your location. I feel...

They can go to their respective dads' homes, and hopefully...

Spare_B**terfly_213 Move when your lease is up,

turn off everything where the bill's in your name and...

Infamous-Purple-3131 Find out what you need to do to evict...

The baby daddies or grandparents can house the children. If...

and not paying rent, she has absolutely no intention of...

As far as your feeling bad about the children, you...

And you can't stop her, only child protective services can...

BoudiccasJustice It will only delay the inevitable.: Ma'am, you need...

Google how to do it, go to the court, there...

And absolutely include all of her back rent and utilities...

The original poster (OP) is facing significant stress due to a roommate who refuses to pay rent or contribute to household expenses while using her children as a shield against accountability. The conflict centers on the OP asserting necessary household boundaries against the roommate’s exploitation of the situation and the OP’s own sense of responsibility toward the children involved.

Given the legal and ethical stalemate, the central question remains: Is it justifiable for the primary leaseholder to restrict a non-paying roommate’s access to shared utilities and amenities to force compliance, even when children are present, or does the presence of dependents negate the OP’s right to protect their financial and living stability?

Emily Davis

Emily writes heartfelt stories about family, parenting, and personal growth.

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